Dart：泛型

Task one

1. 动态

1.1 the percentage of world population

The chart below shows the percentage of world population in four countries from 1950 to 2002, with projections to 2050.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The bar chart illustrates changes in the proportion of population in India, China, the USA and Japan between 1950 and 2050.

Overall, it is estimated that all countries will see a decrease in their population to varying degrees except India; meanwhile, although China had by far the highest percentage of world population in 1950, it will be exceeded by India in 2050.

it is estimated that 相当于 it is expected that

by far 到目前为止（常常跟在谓语动词后面）

To be more specific, in 1950 the percentage of population in China, India America and Japan was 25%, 15%, 10% and 5% respectively. However, during the next 52 years, while the figure for China, the USA and Japan experienced a slight drop to some 24%, 7% and 4%, that for India rose noticeably to 19%.

By 2050, the population in China and Japan are projected to account for 19% and 3% of the population in the world, whereas data in the USA will stabilise. In contrast, slightly more than 20% of population are expected to live in India.

习作（老师批改后）

The bar chart illustrates how the percentage of world population in India, China, USA and Japan changed between 1950 and 2002, with projections to 2050.

It is clear that China accounted for the largest proportion of world population in four countries in both 1950 and 2002 (25% and 24% respectively), experiencing a slight decline. By contrast, Indian the percentage of world population sharp increased from 15% to 19% between 1950 and 2002.

In 2050, Indian proportion will continue to rise to over 20%, overtaking Chinese, while Chinese proportion will fall dramatically under 20%. As for USA and Japan, their world population percentage was respectively under 10% and 5%. The population of America declined from 10% to 8% among the years 1950 to 2002 and it is expected to remain stable at 8%. Similarly, Japanese percentage experienced a slight decrease from 5% to 4% during the same period,and it is expected to further decrease to approximately 3% by 2050.

Overall, China had the largest population before 2002, while it will be exceeded by India in the future.

综合评价：

整体比较流畅，能够使用一些有效的衔接手段，比如Also和括号，但是略显单调，可以进一步修改。比如It is evident that China held the highest proportion of the world population among these four countries in both 1950 and 2002, accounting for 25% and 24% respectively. 以及In terms of the USA and Japan, their percentages of the global population were below 10% and 5% respectively. 语法上要注意单复数和时态相统一，时态部分如果描述的是过去时间要用过去相关的时态，且动名词要注意，比如decrease本身是动词和名词，但是如果要当成名词使用要变为experienced a slight decrease这样合适的表达方式，要加上冠词a。Also, Japanese percentage experienced slight decrease from 5% to 4% during the same period, but it will still decrease to about 3% in 2050.就可以改为 Similarly, Japan’s percentage experienced a slight decrease from 5% to 4% during the same period, and it is expected to further decrease to approximately 3% by 2050.

1.2 the average price of tickets

The line graph shows the average price of tickets at a theatre and the bar chart gives the average percentage of tickets sold in 2010 and 2011.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The line graph gives information about the changes in ticket price every quarter at a theatre from 2010 to 2011, while the bar chart compares the average proportion of ticket sales during the same course of time. Overall, there was an increase in ticket price but a fall in sales.

According to the line graph, the price rose by about $1 over the year, with a growing rate of over 10%. The ticket had been priced at around $9.2 before the theater made a change in the 3rd quarter of 2010, when the average charge of a ticket went up to $10.5. In the following five quarters, the figure stayed roughly at this level, except having a temporary fall to $10.2 in the 2nd quarter of 2011.

However, in the bar chart, the sales of ticket went through a year-on-year decline, dropping at least 10% approximately. In the first three quarters of 2010, almost three fifths of theater tickets were sold on average, whereas in 2011, the figures were below 50%. In particular, the first half of 2011 saw a remarkably low percentage of sold tickets at just over 20%, which was less than half of the 2010 figure. Although the theatre had a full house for the last quarter in 2010, there were 10% empty seats in the same months in 2011.

year-on-year 年比;同比;

a year-on-year decline 同比下降

a full house /ə fʊl haʊs/ 座无虚席;满座;

习作（老师批改后）

The charts demonstrate how the average price of tickets and the average percentage of tickets sold changed between 2010 and 2011.

It is clear from the line graph that there was a dramatic increase in the average price of tickets from about 9.2 dollars to 10.5 dollars during the 3rd quarter in 2010, after which it remained stable despite a decrease of about 0.3.

The bar chart shows the similar trends in average percentage of tickets sold. Starting at less than 60%, the average proportion of tickets soared dramatically to 100% over 4th quarter of 2010, after which it plunged significantly to slightly over 20%, followed by a returning to about 90% during 4th quarter of 2011.

Overall, both the average price of tickets and the average percentage of tickets sold had the similar trend.

1.3 five different communication methods

The line graph below shows the percentage of people who used five different communication methods between 1998 and 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The line graph illustrates how the proportion of people using five diverse kinds of communication modes changed in ten years.

diverse = different ; modes = methods=means

People increasingly relied on cellular phone service over the period mentioned, which even became the most widespread one among all the communication methods after 2002, with the penetration rate of nearly 60% in 2008 in contrast to merely 6% in 1998. Similarly, the usage of Internet service also experienced an upward trend, with the figure starting from 3% in 1998 and ending with roughly 20% in 2008.

increasingly relied on 越来越依赖

over the period mentioned 在上述期间

the most widespread 最广泛的;最普遍的

the penetration rate of nearly 60% 近60%的渗透率

penetration /ˌpenəˈtreɪʃn/ [U] 穿透；渗透；进入

in contrast to merely 6% in 1998 而1998年只有6% (表对比)

the figure starting from 3% in 1998 and ending with roughly 20% in 2008 这个数字从1998年的3%开始，到2008年的20%左右

By contrast, there were fluctuations in the percentage of people who kept using landline service, ranging from 15% to 20% over the decade. Though being the leading communication mode in the first four years, it finally became relatively unimportant. Fixed broadband gained little popularity, with the data a bit higher than that for mobile broadband, which remained the least and levelled off at below 1%.

ranging from 15% to 20% over the decade 在过去的十年中，从15%到20%不等

range : VERB （在一定幅度内）变化，变动

the leading communication mode 最重要的通讯方式

level off at below 1% 稳定在1%以下

level off （数字或数量）趋向平缓，趋于稳定

Overall, cellular phone service had gained dominance among all the communication means, while mobile broadband was least taken advantage of all the time.

gain dominance 获得统治地位

take advantage of 利用; 使用

least take advantage of 最少利用/使用

mobile broadband was least taken advantage of 移动宽带的利用率最低

习作（老师批改后）

The line chart illustrates how the proportion of people who used five different communication methods changed from 1998 to 2008.

It can be clearly seen that the proportion of cellular phone service experienced a significant increase from less than 10% to 60% between 1998 and 2008, exceeding that of landline service in 2002 and becoming the most popular communication method. Similarly, there was a gradual increase from about 3% to 20% in the percentage of Internet service, which outnumbered that of landline service in 2006 and became the second most popular communication method among these five methods. As for landline service, the percentage of people who used it fluctuated bewteen 15% and 20% during the given period. In terms of fixed broadband and mobile broadband, the percentage of people who used them stayed almost unchanged at less than 5%.

In general, cellular phone service became the most popular method to communicate with others.

综合评价：

【task response/achievement任务回应/完成】：能够较好地呈现图表中的主要内容，在变化趋势和数量大小方面的表述整体较为清晰，可以更多说明大小比较方面的问题，即说明谁最大或最小 【coherence & cohesion连贯与衔接】：能够进行较好的分段，但是在内容上，建议先说landline service，因为前面的内容都在和它进行比较，但是这里却是后说，因此并不是很合理 【lexical resources词汇资源】：能够使用一些较好的单词和搭配，需要关注词性的使用问题，但整体的准确性较好 【grammatical range & accuracy】：能够使用简单句和复杂句，可以关注时态的准确使用以及介词、限定词等的使用等细节错误

1.4 the population && the birth and death rate

The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same counties in the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

范文

The charts show the changes in the total population in England and Wales from 1700 to 2000, as well as the comparison between the birth and death rate in these areas.

the comparison between the birth and death rate 出生率与死亡率的比较

In the first chart, it is clear that throughout the four centuries, the population more than quintupled from 9 million to about 48 million. However, a noticeable decline in the growth rate can be observed, with over 100% increase rate in the 18th and 19th century, but less than 20% in the 20th.

throughout the four centuries 贯穿四个世纪

the population more than quintupled

• quintuple /ˈkwɪntjʊpl/ verb （使）成为五倍
• quadruple /kwɒdˈruː.pəl/ verb（使）变为四倍
• triple /ˈtrɪpl/ verb 成为三倍；使增至三倍
• double /ˈdʌbl/ verb （使）加倍；是…的两倍

a noticeable decline in the growth rate 增长率的显著下降

over 100% increase rate 超过100%的增长率

less than 20% increase rate 增长率低于20%

in the 18th and 19th century 在18世纪和19世纪

The second chart examines the changes more closely by looking at the birth and death rate per 1,000 during the same period, further illustrating the trend in population growth. Although only fewer than 10 out of a thousand people were newly born in 1700, this rate soared in the next century, reaching a peak at 23‰ by 1800. However, it plunged to approximately 10‰ in the next 200 years. The change in the death rate showed a similar pattern, albeit a consistent gap between the two rates (from 5‰ to 10‰).

further illustrating the trend in population growth 进一步说明人口增长趋势

fewer than 10 out of a thousand people 不到千分之十的人

• 10 out of a thousand 千分之十

reaching a peak at 23‰ by 1800 到1800年达到23‰的峰值

showed a similar pattern 显示出相似的模式

a consistent gap between the two rates (from 5‰ to 10‰) 两个比率之间的持续的差距（从5‰到10‰）

• consistent 连续的；持续的 consistent growth in the economy 持续的经济增长

Overall, while the total population kept growing in England and Wales, the increase clearly slowed down.

the total population kept growing 总人口保持增长

the increase clearly slowed down 增长明显放缓

习作（老师批改后）

The first bar chart compares the changes of the population in England and Wales from 1700 to 2000 , and the second bar chart shows how the birth and death rate changed during the same time.

In the first graph, the most noticeable feature is that there was a dramatic increase in the population from about 9 million o about 49 million during the whole period. However, the birth and death rate experienced a more complex change in the second graph, which followed a more or less similar trend. The first one hundred years witnessed a dramatic increase, which the birth rate increased from 0.9% to 2.3% and the death rate increased from 0.7% to 1.6% between 1700 and 1800. After that, a smooth downward trend occurred in both birth and death rate, which the birth rate fell down to 1.1% and the death rate fell down to 1%.

followed a more or less similar trend 遵循了几乎相似的趋势

• more or less 或多或少;几乎，差不多;

To sum up, the population and birth and death rates experienced various changes, and in the given period of time the population had significant rise but birth and death rate fluctuated slightly.

综合评价：

TA：本文对图表的信息大致有所描述，但是可以再丰富一下内容。例如，对第一个表格的描述较简单，只描述了最高值和最低值。可以尝试从其他角度描述，例如描述一下它的增长趋势以及数值之间的比较：The population of England and Wales, which stood at under 10 million in 1700, doubled to around 15 million by 1800. By 2000, the figure had surged to almost 50 million, nearly five times the population in 1700. CC：本文段间的连接用的还不错，但是在段内，也要多使用连接词。在描述表格时，可以用in contrast, conversely等来对比不同的数据；也可以用furthermore, in addition, moreover等连接不同的描述点。 LR：本文能有充足的词汇和表达来描述表格，复杂句的使用也挺好。但有些重复使用的句式可以积累一下其他表达。例如：在倒数第二段的描述，用了两次which从句，可以替换一下其他表达，例如：A smooth downward trend occurred in both birth and death rates, with the birth rate falling to 1.1% and the death rate dropping to 1%. GRA：本文主要的语法问题是单复数、定冠词以及million的用法。1. rate是可数名词，出生率和死亡率连在一起表达时，rates要用复数。2. population是集合名词，常与the连用。3. million前面接准确数字时不加s；million后面接of时，要加s，eg: millions of，数百万的。

1.5 Students’ spending on four categories

The charts below show the percentage of total spending on four different categories by students in a European country from 1985 to 2015.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The pie charts illustrate how students in a particular country in Europe distributed their money to food, rent, entertainment and clothes between 1985 and 2015.

Overall, the percentage of students’ expenditure on accommodation increased, while that on the other three aspects decreased.

In terms of rent and clothes, a quarter of students’ money was allocated to renting property in 1985, and the proportion doubled to 50% in 2015. In contrast, the figure for clothes experienced a downward trend, falling noticeably from 20% in 1985 to 10% in 2015.

As for food and entertainment, students initially spent a large amount of money on food, at 30%. The percentage then remained unchanged over the next decade prior to dipping by 8% to 22% in 2015. Entertainment accounted for 25% of students’ total expenditure in 1985. After that, the proportion grew slightly to 28% in 1995 but decreased to 18% after two decades.

习作

The graphs demonstrate how the proportion of total expense which was spent on four different categories by students changed in a European country between1985 and 2015.

The most noticeable feature is that the percentage of students’ spending on rent experienced dramatic increase from 25% to 50% over 30-year period, exceeding that on food in 2005. By contrast, there was a significant decrease in the proportion of expense on clothes, which drop dramatically from 20% in 1985 to 13% in 1995, followed by a smooth decrease to 10% in 2015. Similarly, A smooth decline also occurred in the expenditure on food, with the figure falling back from 30 % to 22% in the same period. As for entertainment, starting at 25% in 1958, its figure decreased to 18% in 2015, despite an increase in 1995 (increased to 28%).

To sum up, the percentage of students’ expense on clothes was constantly the least while that on rent became gradually the largest.

综合评价：

写作任务完成情况: 涵盖了写作任务的要求，能够描述出图中的主要信息并且给出数据支撑论点，能够比较详细完整地呈现图中数据，在这一点上是很不错的。但是一些细节上的东西呈现时表述不是特别清晰，比如年份有时候会比较模糊，这一点还是需要注意。 连贯与衔接：文章的分段是合理的，连接词的使用比较完整，可以用到As for…这样的词表示，这样就能够更加清楚地呈现出所描述的内容。 词汇丰富程度：词汇方面所选的词汇大多能够达意，能够用到一些比较灵活的搭配。但是在一些词汇的使用上，比如连接符所连接的词的拼写和用法上有一些问题。有时选词导致信息表达不是很清晰。 语法多样性及准确性：语法方面，在句式结构上偶尔出现成分残缺和语序方面的问题，能够用到一些复杂句来进行写作。

1.6 public libraries

The charts below give information about why people visited public libraries in Britain in 1991 and 2000.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The pie charts compare the main reasons for which residents visited public libraries in Britain during the period from 1991 to 2000.

According to the pie charts, people who visited public libraries for borrowing and returning books occupied the largest proportion over the decade, although the percentage decreased from 65% in 1991 to 55% in 2000. The ten years also witnessed a dramatic decrease in the figure for those who went to public libraries to read newspapers and magazines, with merely 5% of residents choosing this option in 2000. Similarly, a lower percentage of people opted to study in public libraries, showing a significant drop of 8%.

By contrast, as can be seen from the pie charts, the data for residents obtaining information in public libraries almost doubled over the period, at up to 20% in 2000 in contrast to only 10% in 1991. It is worth noting that there also existed 18% of people going to public libraries in order to borrow and return videos in 2000.

Overall, people who went to public libraries for borrowing and returning books always accounted for the largest share, while higher proportions of residents visited there for the reasons of obtaining information or borrowing and returning videos.

习作

The charts illustrate reasons why people went to public libraries in Britain in 1991 and 2000 respectively.

It can be clearly seen that most people went to public libraries for borrowing and returning books, with the figure decreasing from 65% in 1991 to 55% in 2000.Similarly, people’s demands in reading newspapers or magazines, obtaining information and studying experienced a sharp drop from 15% to 5%.

In general, the main reason why people visited public libraries was consistently borrowing and returning books both in 1991 and 2000, while borrowing and returning videos was becoming an appealing reason to go to public libraries.

综合评价：

1. 写作任务回应情况: 作文成功涵盖了写作任务的要求，对1991年和2000年人们访问英国公共图书馆的主要原因进行了详细的描述。同时，作文也清晰地呈现了主要趋势和数据差异，例如借书或还书的比例下降，获取信息的比例上升等。然而，作文在描述数据时，有时含有不准确的细节信息，例如“人们的需求在阅读报纸或杂志，获取信息和学习方面经历了急剧下降，从15%下降到5%”，这里的数据并不准确，应该分别描述各项的变化。
2. 语法多样性及准确性: 作文中综合使用了简单和复杂的句式，大部分句子都准确无误。对语法和标点的掌握较好，但偶尔出现小错误，例如“It is can be clearly seen that”，这里的“is”应该去掉。
3. 词汇丰富程度: 作文使用了足够的词汇来描述图表，试图使用一些不常用的词汇，但有时使用不准确，例如“人们的需求在阅读报纸或杂志，获取信息和学习方面经历了急剧下降”，这里的“需求”应该改为“比例”或“百分比”。在选词、拼写或构词方面偶尔出现错误。
4. 连贯与衔接: 作文的信息布局有逻辑，全文贯穿了清晰的主线，分段合理。衔接手段有效，但有时使用有误或过于机械，例如“Similarly, people’s demands in reading newspapers or magazines, obtaining information and study experienced the sharp drop from 15% to 5%”，这里的“Similarly”用得不准确，因为前后两个句子描述的内容并不相似。

1.7 cinema attendance

The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The line graph compares the cinema attendance rates in Britain and how the percentages changed from 2000 to 2015, according to different age groups.

Of all age groups, people from 15 to 24 showed the highest participation rate, which more than tripled throughout the period (from about 17% to approximately 55%). Despite a steady increase in the first five years, the growth was accompanied by wild fluctuations after 2007. The figure for young customers aged from 7 to 14 also increased threefold from 10% in 2000 to over 30% in 2015, with a slight and uneven change before 2007 but a much faster rise after that.

25-35-year-old people and those above 35 did not show much attendance in cinemas in 2000 (less than 3%), but the percentage of the former had increased significantly with dramatic swings to over 30% by 2015, while that of the latter did not have notable changes until 2010 and reached about 12% in 2015. Noticeably, cinema attendance of people from 25 to 35 had approached a similar level to that of the youngest customer group since 2007.

Overall, in the given period, cinemas attracted a growing percentage of population in Great Britain, and a widening gap can be found in the attendance rates of different age groups.

习作

The line graph illustrates how cinema attendance according to age group changed in the UK from 2000 to 2015.

It can be seen clearly that people between 15 and 24 always showed the greatest interest in cinema, with cinema attendance being consistently the highest and increasing from 15% in 2000 to over 50% in 2015.By contrast, people aged 35 and over showed the least interest in cinema, the figure of which in this age group was consistently the lowest and experienced a stable increase from 1% to 12% during the same period. As for the age groups of 7-14 and 25-35, cinema attendance both had different degrees of growth. The figure for the 7-14 group rose.

In general, people between 15 and 24 were consistently the largest consumer group for cinema and people in 35 and over were less likely to go to cinema.

综合评价：

1. 写作任务回应情况: 作文尝试回应了题目，大致介绍了所有年龄组的电影出勤率变化情况，但本文内容不完整，没有给出7-14和25-35这两个年龄组的具体数据，字数也没有达到最低的150字要求，因此不算是完成了写作任务。还有在呈现主要趋势时，除了告诉读者不同年龄层人员的差异，最好还能体现影院上座率随年份增加而上升这一变化。
2. 语法多样性及准确性: 作文中使用了简单和复杂句式，但在语法和标点使用上存在一些错误，例如，“people between 15 and 24 always showed the greatest interests in cinema, with cinema attendance was consistently the highest”，这里的介词“with”后面应该使用名词短语，而不是完整的句子。其次，本文缺乏清晰准确的时态使用概念，出现一般现在时和一般过去时混用的情况。如果数据对应的时间点或时间段是过去的时间(以2024年为基准)，只要是2024年以前的时间表达，就用一般过去时态。建议学生在审题时标注时间，将要用的时态标在旁边，时刻提醒自己，避免在书写过程中忘掉时态的情况发生。
3. 词汇丰富程度: 作文方面词汇量不是特别丰富，存在一些相似的表达重复出现的情况。在一些不常用词汇的使用上也存在不准确，例如，“people in 35 and over show the less interests in cinema”，这里的“less”应该改为“least”。
4. 连贯与衔接: 作文的信息布局基本清晰，段落布局合理，作文方面也使用了一些衔接手段，比如by contrast等连词，这方面完成得比较不错。

2. 静态

2.1 expenditure on three categorie

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories with different proportions among residents in the UK in 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

范文

The bar chart illustrates how British people from various age groups distributed their money to food & drink, restaurant & hotel and entertainment in the year 2004. Overall, people of different ages had distinct consumption patterns.

distributed their money to A 将他们的钱分配给A

distinct consumption patterns 不同的消费模式

Residents over 75 years old allocated by far the highest percentage of their money on food & drink among the five age groups, at around 22%, followed by 60-75 age group, 45-60 age group and 30-45 age group. The lowest figure went to people below 30, at just over 5%. Likewise, as for the expense on entertainment, people under the age of 30 had the lowest figure**, at only 6%**. With age, it is clear that older people spent relatively more money on this aspect than younger people did, except for senior citizens aged over 75 (14%).

allocated the highest percentage of their money on food and drink 将最高比例的资金用于食品和饮料

except for + n ： 除了（不包括）

However, the spending on restaurant & hotel was largely different from the others. The peak value was found in the people aged under 30**, at 14%**. The three groups of people aged between 30 and 75 years old nearly had the same percentages. The lowest percentage was shown in citizens older than 75 years old (7%).

nearly had the same percentages 几乎有相同的百分比

表示花费：expense=expenditure=spending + on

表示人：people=residents =citizens

描述人的年龄：people over 75 years old = people aged over 75=people older than 75 years old

习作

The bar chart compares how much money people spent on three categories in different age groups,in 2004.

One of the most prominent features of this data is that the proportion of expense on food and drink increased with age. For people over 75, they spent the most expenditure on food and drink which took up about 22% of their total spending. This percentage was four times ==as large as== the percentage of people under 30.

One of the most prominent features of this data is that … 该数据最突出的特征之一是…

• prominent features /ˈprɒmɪnənt ˈfiːtʃəz/ 突出特征;突出的特征

took up about 22% of their total spending 约占其总支出的22%

This percentage was four times as large as the percentage of people under 30 这一比例是30岁以下人群比例的四倍

In terms of the expenditure on restaurant and hotel, there was not much difference in the figures for people between 30 and 75**, all at around 12%**. It is interesting that the young (under 30) spent most of their budgets (14%) on it, while the elderly spent the least(6%) on it.

spent most of their budgets on it 把大部分预算都花在了这上面

Conversely, the proportion of people’s spending on entertainment between the ages of 30 and 75 varied widely from 8% to 23%. The highest percentage of expending on entertainment can be observed in the age group from 60 to 75, outnumbering that of people under 30 by a ratio of four to one.

To sum up, there were huge differences in citizens’ expenditure across different age groups, with people over 75 showing the largest disparity.

综合评价：

内容上，作文对于柱状图进行了描述，体现了不同年龄组在三个方面的消费占比情况，作文对于趋势进行了描述，但是还是存在如下问题，首先，开头段的介绍可以给出时间，总结部分内容可以修改，==主体段描述的是趋势，而不是组内三个方面的对比==，所以建议从趋势的角度总结，而不是组内的gap，其次，主体段的描述中，entertainment部分，可以描述为随着age的增长，vary的描述不准确，同时最后组 ，数据下降到13%，可以描述；衔接上，作文分段合适，根据三个方面进行了分段，使用了一定的衔接词汇，但是注意代词使用不当，==their和the不能同时使用==，也就是不能their the ，调整内容的同时，可以修改衔接词汇的使用；词汇上，作文的词汇问题主要是选词不当（修饰percentage，建议large）冠词 限定词错误、用词重复，名词单复数错误，所有格错误或缺失；语法上，作文的句式问题主要是时态错误（描述的是过去，所以一般过去时态）总的来说，作文的内容描述要完整准确，合理进行总结，修改存在的词汇和句式问题。加油

2.2 the time spent on leisure and household activities

The table and chart show the time spent on leisure and household activities by men and women in 2008.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The table illustrates how many minutes males and females distributed to three different activities in their leisure time every day, while the bar chart depicts the amount of time each gender spent on four types of domestic matters in the year 2008. Overall, men spent much more time on leisure activities than household ones but the time for both types for women was roughly the same.

In the table, both males and females allocated an excessive amount of time to watching TV, enjoying videos and listening to the radio, although the figure for males was slightly higher than that for their female counterparts, at 137 minutes and 118 minutes respectively. 18 and 15 minutes were spent on reading books and doing sports by men each day, whereas 19 and 11 minutes by women.

Turning to the bar chart, women spent more time on most household activities than men did. 75 and 25 minutes were distributed to the kitchen and the laundry room by women, 2.5 and 3 times longer than the figures for men. Women spent 10 more minutes on shopping than men, at 35 and 25 minutes separately. In contrast, doing repairing work was the only activity that men spent more time on; they allowed this nearly 30 minutes.

习作

The table and chart compare how much time men and women respectively spent on leisure and household activities in 2008.

It is noticeable that both men and women spent the most time on TV, video or radio, with men spending 137 minutes on it and women 118 minutes every day. By contrast, people were not so willing to read and do sport, on which men and women spent less than 20 minutes every day. In terms of household activities, women did much more household activities than men did. The largest amount of time women spent was cooking and washing dishes, which was over 70 minutes per day, more than twice as much as the figure of men. Similarly, women also spent more time on shopping, clothes washing and ironing than men did. The amount of time spent on clothes washing and ironing by women was about 30 minutes per day, which outnumbered that of men (about 10) by a ratio of 3 to 1. As for the figure of shopping, women were about 30 minutes and men is more than 20 minutes. However, only one activity that men spent more time on than women was repairing, spending about 19 minutes every day, with the figure about twice as much as women (10 minutes).

Overall, men and women spent similar amount of time on leisure activities while women undertook far more household activities than men.

综合评价：

从TA的角度看，作文字数达到了要求，但是要注意一些信息描述不够准确，首先综述段，应该说“男性在娱乐时间上高于女性，而女性在家务上花的时间高于男性”；此外，主体段的30和20后面不要遗漏了minutes，不然这个信息阐述不清晰。 从连贯与衔接的角度看，作文主体段没有合理分段，事实上第二段应该只需要写entertainment，第三段来写housework，第四段来综述，可是作文主体段内容全部堆砌到一起，有些冗长杂乱。 从词汇丰富程度看，作文有少量用词不当，比如figure前面要加the，且后面的介词用of；此外，similar time表达也不准确，应该是similar amount of time才对。 从语法多样性和准确性看，作文的谓语动词时态多处有错误，事实上应该用过去时，还有more than men后面少了助动词did；with the figure about twice这种复合结构，中间不应该有is。

2.3 the production of milk

The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990, 2000 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

范文

The table compares milk production volumes of four countries over two decades.

In general, there was a decrease in the total output over the period surveyed, despite growth recorded for most of the countries.

More specifically, the top contributors were the Netherlands and Australia. Both countries recorded slightly over 11.2 million litres of milk yield in 1990, which declined by 107,000 litres and 141,000 litres, respectively, over the subsequent decade. By 2010, the former had bounced back to a record high (11,466,000 litres), while a 2-million-litre drop was documented in the latter.

Production volumes in the remaining two countries were much smaller despite substantial growth there. Despite having doubled its production capacity, Tanzania merely collected 155,000 litres, a little over one percent of the Dutch figure, in 2010. Smaller numbers were reported for Guatemala, where cows only generated 26,000 litres in 1990. Even after a threefold increase, milk yield here (84,000 litres) remained by far the lowest in 2010.

习作

The table illustrates the production of milk every year in the Netherlands, Australia, Tanzania and Guatemala in three different years.

It can be clearly seen that the production of milk in the Netherlands was the highest and kept a stable increase from 11,262,000L in 1990 to 11,466,000L in 2010, despite a slight drop in 2000.By contrast, By contrast, the production of milk in Australia decreased sharply from 11,246,000L in 1990 to 9,165,00L in 2010. As for the production of milk in Tanzania and Guatemala, their production experienced the sharp rise from 87000L to 15500L and fr….没完成…

In general, the Netherlands consistently remained the highest production of milk, while the production of milk in Guatemala was always the least.

综合评价：

1. 写作任务回应情况: 文章字数不足，没有达到150+的最低标准，需要相应扣分。雅思作文不是简单罗列数据，要有分析比较，这里基本就是把每个国家的数据列出来，要学习范文比如，, a little over one percent of the Dutch figure, Even after a threefold increase, milk yield here (84,000 litres) remained by far the lowest in 2010…
2. 语法多样性及准确性: 在语法使用上存在一些错误，例如”Australian the production of milk”应改为”Australia’s milk production”，”sharp rise from 87000L to 15500L”应改为”sharp rise from 87000L to 155000L”。这些错误虽然不影响读者理解，但对于整体的语法准确性有所影响。
3. 词汇丰富程度: 注意单词拼写错误，在描述各国牛奶生产量时，过于频繁地使用了”the production of milk”，使得文章读起来较为机械。
4. 连贯与衔接: 作文的信息有布局，但雅思作文主体段一般分为2-3段，不要全部写在一起，显得文章没有主线。有分段，但不能完全保持段落间的逻辑。例如，第二段在描述荷兰和澳大利亚的牛奶生产量时，突然转到坦桑尼亚和危地马拉的生产量，使得段落的逻辑不够清晰。

2.4 employment

The table and chart below give information about employment in Australia by age group in 2011.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The table and bar chart illustrate the employment rates in Australia in 2011, according to age and gender.

In general, the employment rates of the full-time and part-time population were relatively high for those aged between 20 and 54, while the lowest lay in those aged over 65. The percentages of females doing part-time jobs far exceeded males, especially among 35–54-year-olds.

Regarding the total employment rates for both full-time and part-time jobs, the data for people aged 20-54 was above 80%, slightly higher than that of those aged 55-59, at 73%. The figure for the youngest age group (15-19) was about 60%, while in the categories of people aged 60-64 and over the age of 65, the employment rate was very low, at only 17% and 12%.

As to males and females in part-time employment rates, the proportion of females having part-time jobs was much higher than that of males in most age groups. The most marked disparity can be seen in the 35-44 and 45-54 age groups, five times larger than the percentages of males. In the oldest age group, however, the proportion of males working part-time doubled that of females.

习作

The table and chart present information about employment in Australia according to age group in 2011.

It can be seen clearly that people between 20 to 60 were the main labor force in Australia in 2011, whose percentage of people employed accounted for over 70%. By contrast, proportion of people over 60 was the least, and below 20%. For the age group from 15 to 19, 59% people had either full-time or part-time jobs.

The bar chart shows the percentage of men and women with part-time jobs. Obviously, women prefer to have part-time job than men, with one-third of women below 65 have part-time job. Conversely, he man only in 15 to 19 have part-time job (over 25%).

In general, people between 20 to 60 was main labor force in Australia, and women prefer to have part-time job.

综合评价：

TA：1. 作文基本完成了写作任务，作文在总结段落时，重复了之前的信息，没有提供总结，此为混合图，总结段应该写两部分，每个图占一部分。2. 字数并没有满足雅思小作文字数要求。3.数据表达错误，第二段“60岁以上的占比最低，为20%”这个其实不准确，应该写65+以上的人是最低，占比为12%。3.第三段“women preferred part-time jobs”这个表述其实不太准确，应该描述为“兼职工作中，女性的雇佣率是高于男性的”，后面还有一句“the man only in 15 to 19…”这个表示令人疑惑，不知道想要表达什么。 GRA:作文的语法结构较为简单，主要使用了一些基础的句型，如“It can be seen clearly that…”、“By contrast…”等。在语法准确性方面，存在一些错误，例如“The bar char show percentage of men and women who have part-time job.”，这里的“char”应为“chart”，“show”应为“shows”，“job”应为“jobs”。 LR: 作文的词汇范围较为有限，主要使用了一些常见的词汇，如“people”、“job”、“percentage”等。在使用不常用词汇方面，有时使用不准确，例如“the man only in 15 to 19 have part-time job”，这里的“the man”应为“men”。 CC: 作文的信息布局基本清晰，但在段落间的逻辑连贯性上存在问题。例如，第二段和第三段之间没有明显的过渡，使得读者可能会感到突兀。在衔接手段的使用上，有时使用不当，例如“By contrast, proportion of people over 60 is the lest, and below 20%.”，这里的“By contrast”并未明确指出与之对比的对象。

3. 其他

3.1 地图：a college

The maps below give information about a college at present and its future view in 2025 after reconstruction.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

范文

The two maps illustrate the changes of a college between present and 2025.

At present, a garden lies in the northern part of the college and five car parks are located in the west. Both of them are linked to the school building by a footpath, while the school entrance is in front of the garden. Inside the building, a lunch area and two classrooms lie in the western side, while one more classroom, a reception and a library are in the eastern part. For the southern edge, there is a toilet in the middle, and a bus stop on the south-western corner outside, just beside the road.

In 2025, several changes are expected to be witnessed. The garden and the footpath will be removed, since the teaching building will be extended. A new shop will be established in the college’s north-western corner, and the library will be moved to the south-western end. Between them, there will be the original lunch area and one classroom, while the other four classrooms will be seen in the opposite side. The entrance will be relocated to the middle southern edge, adjacent to the bus stop, and the corridor behind it will be replaced by a reception.

To summarize, more rooms and car parks will be constructed in the college during the period.

习作

The maps show the college at present and how it will change in the 2025 after reconstruction.

The most noticeable change is that almost all of recreational facilities will be removed to make room to renovate and enlarge other buildings or facilities. The garden on top of map will be flattened to build a shop and expand classroom, and the number of classrooms will increase from 3 to 5. Furthermore, the footpath along the car park is also going to be demolished so that there will be more room to enlarge buildings along the two sides.

Another major change is that the location of facilities will be changed. It is clear that the location of toilet and entrance will be exchanged, with the college planning to make entrance face road. The reception and library on the far right of the map will all be replaced by classrooms, and the former will be relocated in the center of college and the latter in the right of college next to the bus stop.

Overall, the college will become more convenient for students and teachers and larger to accommodate more students, despite a demolition of recreational facilities such as the garden.

综合评价：

从task achievement来说，作者基本上能够觉察到地图信息的具体变化，能够要有一个总结段总结图表信息，基本合理完成要求，信息的比较较为完整合理，如果事物没有发生变化也可以指出该特征。衔接与连贯方面，文章有进一步进行了分段，句子与句子间段落与段落间的过渡衔接可以更加自然，如对比变化时，可以考虑校外过渡到校内变化，然后用inside the buildings进行过渡。衔接手段如overall基本能够正确使用，其他衔接手段可以继续积累如meanwhile,at the same time等。词汇方面，文章有尝试使用一些不常见的词汇，文章中用词替换意识可以继续加强，地图题表达可以继续积累。“be predicted to,be expected to”等表达可以继续积累，代替will引出将来的变化，个别选词表达可以继续积累，be transformed into ,adjacent等词语可以继续积累。 语法方面，文章语法方面时态使用基本合理，但注意避免细节语法错误，如注意可数名词单数前面要有冠词，如a/the garden, a/the shop；句式方面， another major change is that…表语从句使用基本合理,但个别从句使用的准确性需要提高，尤其是which引导的从句使用可以更加准确，其他类型复杂句式可以继续积累，如where引导的从句，也可以考虑使用一些分词短语介词短语如with a path linking….等，希望学员能够再接再厉，继续加油！

3.2 地图 a coastal land

The diagram below shows a coastal land before and after development.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams show the development that has taken place in a coastal area.

Overall, the area has been transformed from an agricultural site to one designed for recreation with upgrades in access and facilities.

There are noticeable developments in the northern part of the area. In the centre, where the old farm buildings stood, there are now a car park and a café, accessible to the public via an east-west road featured in the original map. From here visitors can follow a footpath on the east side to reach a grove, which used to be an agricultural zone, for a stroll. Alternatively, a footpath on the opposite side leads to a lake for walking or boating, leisure activities not possible prior to the development when the site consisted of pastures for raising animals and a piece of unused land.

The seafront in the south, on the other hand, remains largely unchanged. A long line of cliffs not far from the old farm buildings are kept in their original state, although steps have been installed for easy access to a beach beneath them. Here some reactional facilities are made available, but the shoreline remains otherwise bare.

3.3 流程图：the production of olive oil

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The flow chart illustrates the procedures for producing olive oil, which mainly relies on crushing olives to release the oil trapped inside.

Picking olives is the first step in making olive oil and there is a huge vat to collect the falling olives, which subsequently will be delivered to the pool and rinsed with water. In the following stage, olives are milled to remove unnecessary parts before being heated by an oven with the constant temperature of 27℃ . Afterwards, the mixture will be pressed until the oil is extracted, leaving waste behind.

In the next step, it is a centrifuge that assists in separating oil from waste solid, which will be then conveyed to the tank. Finally, after water is thoroughly discarded in the tank, the virgin oil will be bottled in the processing plant and then transported by lorry for human needs.

Overall, extracting olive oil is rather simple through steps mentioned above, which starts from harvesting olives and ends in transporting the olive oil.

Task two

1. Agree or Disagree

1.1 the protection of wild animals and birds.

Some people argue that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

范文

It is argued that the preservation of wildlife has received an excessive amount of attention as well as resource allocation. Personally, I strongly disagree with this statement because many individuals are still ignorant of the need to protect wild species, and there is a dearth of strategies used to tackle this issue.

The primary reason supporting my stance is that a large proportion of individuals are not aware of the importance of conserving wild animals. It is a fact that many people, be they young or old, have not been taught the knowledge about the protection of wild animals, being unfamiliar with the ways in which the extinction of wildlife will adversely influence the ecosystem and human life. Also, although news reports focus on a range of topics, including politics and the economy, wildlife preservation is always excluded.

Another important point I consider relevant is the limited number of approaches to protecting wildlife. In some economically deprived countries, they find it difficult to establish wildlife reserves that can provide an environment for these species to reproduce. There are also others that have not enacted and implemented relevant regulations and laws to bar poachers from killing endangered animals for profit. Meanwhile, many wealthy nations prefer to invest in the economy, technology, and military, instead of allotting a large budget to the preservation of wild animals.

In conclusion, I completely disapprove of the viewpoint that the protection of wild animals has been given too much attention and provided with sufficient resources. After all, a large proportion of people are yet to be aware of the significance of preserving wild fauna, and the measures that can be adopted in this regard are not enough.

习作

Just with the raising of people’s environment protection, there is growing attention and resources being spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. Some people believe we give too much attention and too many resources to it. From my perspective, the viewpoint does have its rationales.

There are two main reasons for my view. Most importantly, there are more valuable problems waiting for us to solve, such as poverty, to which we should have paid more attention. If someone is facing survival issues, he or she would not care about how animals are being. By I mean that people without survival problems can pay extra attention and resources to the conservation of wild animals. Apart from that, some extinctions are results of natural selection and it would happen with or without protection. Therefore, if we plan to save the endangered species that should have died out, the cost will be prohibitive.

It has to be acknowledged that the conservation of wild animals and birds is valuable. Because without the conservation, biodiversity will loss, which leads to the imbalance in our ecosystems causing large economic lost However, overprotection is also gradually becoming another environmental issue. For example, in my country, wild boar that were ever endangered animal destroy agriculture lands these years as it is protected too much causing a rapid increase in the number of it.

In conclusion, although it is important to protect animals, I content attention and resources in this aspect should be limited to a suitable level that our society can afford.

综合评价：

（1）TR上，整体来说学生能够给出立场比较鲜明的个人观点，从reason的角度比较完整的支撑个人观点，在第三段中的concession也相对比较成功，能都从正方的观点入手最终回到个人观点上，大部分的分论点也比较站得住脚。建议学生在一些论点上再做细化的说明和发展，比如第三段的观点一，为什么生物灭绝会导致经济上的损失，这一点还需要逻辑上更详细的衔接。conclusion部分还可以用简单的词对前文的内容进行概括，和前文的内容形成呼应会让文章结构上更加严谨和完整。 （2）CC上，文中使用了比较丰富的衔接词和signal words，主要包括However/Because/Therefore，每一个观点都有比较完整的发展逻辑，除了以衔接词为主要衔接手段，学生还可以尝试内容上的衔接，具体可以参考TR中给出的建议，对文章一些内容逻辑上在进行说明或者呼应的处理，也可以在后参考范文积累其他衔接词，使用更灵活和丰富一些。 （3）LR上，学生对于less common expressions有一些积累和运用，表达上比较准确和顺畅，也通过词汇和从句避免了表达上的重复；词汇的准确性上偶有存在一些小问题，细节批改中指出了一些词汇选择、介词使用、冠词使用上的小问题，学生可以参考进行修改。 （4）GRA上，学生能综合使用复杂句和简单句，部分句子在主谓一致或句子成分上稍微存在一些问题，已经在细节批改中指出，学生可以参考进行修改，另外在句法的丰富度上学生可以尝试非谓语和with伴随结构对现有的部分句式进行改写，体现对丰富语法结构的掌握。

1.2 traffic congestion

Some people say the best way for the government to solve traffic congestion is to provide free public transportation 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

范文

Traffic congestion keeps being a thorny issue in urban life, which features large population and the wide use of private cars. Some people suggest a 24/7 free public transportation attempting to resolve it.

At the first glance, this proposal seems to be an effective way to address traffic jams. Free travel fare would certainly attract more travellers to take public transports such as buses or underground railways and prolonged operation of transportation may convince those who travel in early mornings to abandon their private vehicles. Therefore, the traffic number in the street is expected to be reduced to some extent.

However, this proposal has gone too far from the best solution to jammed roads. A major defect is the inconvenience of public transport, which does not provide door-to-door service and in this sense it cannot be compared with private cars or taxis. For example, even being charged of no fare, the elderly or the disabled would not consider such an option. Another innate disadvantage of public transport is the slow speed which prevents people from taking it into consideration in case of emergency. The economic factor is also important when we talk about public expenditures. It is ridiculous to invest a large sum of taxpayers’ money into 24/7 operation of transportation, while traffic jams never occur at midnight.

To conclude my idea, running a free public transport system all day long cannot be the most effective way to solve the traffic problem in major cities because of its inherent flaws and resource exhaustion. Tackling this challenge requires diverse approaches instead of a single crazy one.

习作

Just as cities are developing, there are growing concern about how to cope with traffic congestion. Some people believe that the providing free public transportation 24 hours every day is the best way for the government to deal with the problem. From my perspective, I disagree with the viewpoint and think there are alternative ways.

It has to be acknowledged that free public transportation provided by government does make more people go to work by public transportation. However, not everyone prefers to travel to work by bus or tube, which is usually crowed in rush hours. In other words, there are many people who do not care a small traffic fee, who hope to enjoy more comfortable commute. Most importantly, public transportation does not operate/run throughout the whole city.

Hence, it is better to find out alternative ways of reducing the traffic jams effectively. Providing more public transport is more effective one. For example, thegovernment can build more tube stations so that it would be more convenient for citizens to choose public transportation instead of private cars to commute. Apart from that, road pricing, meaning levying tax, has been proved to work in many big cities. In particular, if owners of private car want to go through the city center for something in rush hours, they will pay more fees as their behavior exacerbates rush-hour traffic jam. That will reduce mostly traffic congestion.

In conclusion, although the government providing free public transport help with traffic congestion, more public transport and road pricing would be better choices.

综合评价：

1. 结构不够符合题意，核心概念表述上不够准确，如何解决拥堵的内容不属于本题议题之内的内容，本题只讨论同不同意这个政策，而不需要真正地找到一个什么样的解决拥堵的方法，语言上小错需认真来应对。第一段引出话题：the government is to provide free public transportation 24 hours a day and 7 days a week to solve traffic congestion，表明自己的观点，写得还不错。第二段讲了此做法可能的好处、同意这个做法的原因；最好有一个主题句以统领各个论点：I agree with….for the following reasons/there are benefits … Firstly,…；但是好处展开不够充分；本段落的后半部分里核心表述上概念不够精确，应是“政府不间断提供公共交通这个措施”的好处，而不是“公共交通”的好处。第三段应讲不同意此做法的原因、此办法的坏处；但是最好有一个像第二段的主题句以统领各个论点：I disagree with….for the following reasons/there are drawbacks…. Firstly,…；但是本段不符合这个逻辑，原来的内容不属于本题的讨论范围之内。最后一段总结全文，重申自己的观点，核心概念的表述上又偷偷换成public transportation了。文章字数很合适。

2. 衔接词的使用意识尚可，第二、三段在演绎同不同意这种提法或者这种提法的优劣势时使用了若干衔接词，中间两段的行文逻辑不够符合题意，各段逻辑清晰度需进一步提高，字句上的失误也需多注意才行。

3. 词汇量尚可，但单词使用时的准确度需进一步提高。需尽量避免冠词使用、单复数、选词、搭配等方面的小错。选词搭配上的细节需多注意。

4. 语法还不错，主谓一致、动词选词、时态、搭配方面的小错需特别留意。语法上小错不多，今后再细心一点就可以完全消灭它们了。
   集采小流，足以成江海，望君不负时光，再接再厉，考试取得好成绩!

1.3 more money in teaching science

Some people think the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

范文

The advent of modern science and technology has revolutionized the whole world and brought numerous improvements for humankind. Some people opine that the government should pour more money into promoting science education, which benefits the country’s sustainable growth. In my view, government funding should not give preference to imparting science-related knowledge at the expense of neglecting other subjects.

Placing a premium on science education subjects is indeed conducive to the growth of a nation. Firstly, the developed societies have high levels of scientific breakthroughs relying heavily on in-depth knowledge of mathematics, physics and chemistry. These advances, such as computerized machinery and electronic devices, have led to highly streamlined and productive workplaces. Besides, science study plays a vital role in stimulating learners’ innovation and imagination. Such capabilities help cultivate a future generation inclined to do scientific research and develop useful inventions, directly contributing to the national economic growth.

However, teaching other academic disciplines is also the driving force behind national progress. Literature and Law, for example, lead to law-abiding and productive citizens adopting a decent code of conduct and thinking independently. Other subjects like Arts and Humanities instil insight into the various aspects of attitude or behaviour, allowing citizens to move forward as a race. Moreover, students might suffer from mental diseases or lose interest in the study if they overly concentrate on science courses. It is argued that the monopoly and difficulty of certain particular subjects may affect their lifestyle and result in a dull learning atmosphere. Therefore, the government should allocate expenditure properly for balanced education to prevent potential diseases and depression from students.

In conclusion, I contend that other subjects are of paramount significance to the overall progress of a nation. Although stressing the role of science subjects can create favourable conditions for countries’ future growth, an advanced society would benefit from a more well-rounded education.

习作

Just with fierce competition between countries, there are growing discussions about how to develop one’s own country. Some people believe more government finance should be allocated to science education than other education for a better future of one’s own country. From my perspective, the viewpoint does have its rationales.

There are two main reasons for my view. Most importantly, more investment in teaching science helps with the development and progress of one country, by which I mean it could accelerate the transformation from scientific achievements to actual productivity, boosting economic growth. By contrast, other subjects do not directly make a difference to economy as science does. Apart from that, more government funding in science is better for students’ growth. Because science education imparts critical thinking, teaching us to make decisions based on evidence rather than instinct or prejudice. The critical thinking is acquired through the process of learning science, as it needs students to obtain, evaluate and process information and data. In comparison, other subjects such as art do not involve it.

Also, it has to be acknowledged that if substantial funding is invested in teaching science, it will give rise to the financial imbalance or shortage in other key areas. However, it is just a short-term effect. Actually, other subjects might face with the fact of insufficient funds at the beginning But when the economy of country improves one day, the government will have more money to facilitate other subjects. In other words, the proportion will indeed decrease, while the total amount will increase.

In conclusion, although it is unfair to other subjects at the start, I contend it would be a better choice for not only science itself but also other subjects even the whole country at the end.

综合评价：

GRA:考生语法基础比较扎实，但是句法和时态方面有少许错误。LR：考生对词汇的整体掌握比较好，但是冠词使用方面需要多加努力。CC：考生的衔接词用的很清晰，可以表达句子之间的关系，段落开头的总结句也很清晰。TR：考生较好的回应了题目要求，给出了多个相关论点并且展开论述，也有举例，但是有时会有一概而论的情况，比如考生写到其他学科不能像理科学科一样培养学生的critical thinking，但是很多非理科的学科也能培养该能力，只是研究的对象不一样，可以看出考生此处论述是为了说明理科教学比其他学科重要以更好地切题，但是并不符合事实。

1.4 overweight and unhealthy

In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

范文

Children in many parts of the world are increasingly becoming obese and unhealthy. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to mitigate health issues. In my opinion, families and schools should shoulder more responsibility in tackling this problem.

Childhood obesity and unhealthiness should be partly blamed on the authority. There is no doubt that the government is accountable for maintaining a healthy population and increasing economic growth. If numerous diseases related to obesity occur to the younger generation, the chance of them being vulnerable to severe diseases is high, which would result in a slowdown of national growth. Moreover, the measures made by the government are effective on a large scale. For example, the UK food factories have been required to put warnings on the packaging of junk food and ready meals since the 1990s; thus, people would think twice when consuming such foods.

On the other hand, families and schools play a decisive role in solving this problem. First, parents have direct control over what their children eat. To be precise, parents can follow a healthy routine by adding more vegetables and less oil to daily meals. In addition to this, schools can lower the obesity rate by consolidating sports infrastructure and engaging more students in physical exercise. Therefore, children can work out frequently instead of leading a sedentary lifestyle. Also, schools need to instill the importance of a balanced diet to equip students with long-term health consciousness.

In conclusion, I argue that the incidents of lifestyle diseases cannot be effectively curbed by the governing body alone. Parenting and schooling should form joint efforts with the government to overcome this situation.

习作

With the development of society, there is a growing concern about children’s obesity and unhealth. Some people believe that the government should take responsibility to solve this problem.From my perspective, the viewpoint does have its rationality.

There are two reasons for my view. Firstly, the government can introduce laws to ask factories to reduce sugar and fat content in their products. Children are becoming overweight and unhealthy because they eat too much junk food that contains much sugar and fat.In other words, if the food that children like has less sugar and fat, children can become less overweight under the same condition.Apart from that, the government can appeal to schools and universities to add number of physical education classes. A lack of exercise is another factor causing children to become increasingly overweight and unhealthy. The government also can hold interesting activities to attract more children to do sports, which can improve the motivation of children.

It has to be acknowledged that parents also need to take care of their children’s health.For example parents can educate their children to eat less junk food and encourage their children to exercise more.However, children may not follow their parents’ orders. Obesity is gradually becoming a social issue rather than family problems, and its social impacts on children are severe. What we need to do to solve his problem completely is to change social culture.

In conclusion, although parents also need to take action to prevent their children from eating junk food, I contend that the government should take main responsibility because it can have the greatest impact on this problem.

综合评价：

1. 写作任务回应情况:基本回应了写作任务，字数达标。题目想问的其实是，孩子肥胖只有政府负主要责任吗？其实从应试角度来说，还是认同家长、学校和政府一起努力会更好论述一些。 同学支持的观点还是比较恰当的哈。论述方式还可以进一步优化，来提升分数，具体建议见评语最后一部分哈。

2. 语法多样性及准确性:作文中综合使用了简单和复杂的句式，但语法和标点存在一些错误。同学出现的语法错误可以归结为以下几类：选词不当，句子逻辑关系有误，名词是否可数，名词单复数使用不当，固定搭配使用不准确等。语法错误都是细节性的，有些重复出现。建议同学对于不清楚的语法点要进行专项查漏补缺，减少语法错误的出现，提升单项分数。

3. 词汇丰富程度:作文使用了足够的词汇，试图使用不常用词汇，但有时使用不准确。在拼写或构词方面有错误，例如，“improtantly”应改为“importantly”，“ackowledged”应改为“acknowledged”，“chirdren”应改为“children”，但这些错误不影响读者理解。注意不要使用缩写，注意大小写的规范。

4. 连贯与衔接:作文的信息布局有逻辑，全文贯穿清晰的主线。分段合理，每段都有明确的主题。衔接手段有效，但有时使用有误或过于机械。这道题重点要论述的是谁的责任。比较合理的思路提供如下：儿童肥胖很大程度上是因为垃圾食品的过量摄入，而广告商大面积投放这种广告或者生产商大量生产垃圾食品，这两者的控制，还得靠政府；儿童由于课业安排紧张缺乏体育锻炼，也是政府的责任，相关部门可以完善课程体系。要通过分析肥胖的原因，找到是谁的责任，进而提及做法。同样，家长的责任也可以类比来论述（帮孩子养成良好的饮食习惯）。同学的论述思路可以稍微再完善一下哈。

1.5 encourage people to live in cities

Some people believe the best way to deal with the problem related to traffic and transportation is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in suburbs and the countryside.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

范文

With the increasingly booming populations scattered around cities and suburbs, traffic and transportation problems have aroused great public concern. Some people suppose that to encourage suburban and rural residents to relocate to cities can significantly address the issue, which, from my perspective, is not the best solution.

Admittedly, the proposal can, to some extent, alleviate traffic and transportation problems since the implementation of this policy is likely to effectively cut down the traffic load and therefore deal with congestion issues. As is known to all, currently there exist a huge number of employees living in rural and country areas while working in central areas of cities, under which circumstance, the shift to urban areas means shorter commuting distances during rush hours. In this case, chances are that the public transportation can be taken good use of to replace private vehicles and as a consequence, traffic will be reduced.

However, the solution is too short-sighted, which ignores the accommodation capacity of cities and can hardly be carried out for a long period. Considering that to encourage a large number of rural population to move to cities requires well-equipped infrastructure to be supplied for the swarming immigrants, this poses a great challenge to the already dense downtown areas. Once basic facilities have not been improved to satisfy new demands, cities, including those public means of transport, which have ever been regarded as the savior for traffic congestion, will become extremely crowded, easily resulting in chaos and even emergencies in the long run.

Instead, there are other feasible alternatives to solve traffic and transportation problems, among which strengthening public transits between urban and rural areas is a representative one. The convenience and reliability of developed public transportation play a pivotal role in pushing more people in suburbs or countryside to be less dependent on their own private cars, which is the driving power to address traffic issues.

In conclusion, relying on the population migration from suburban and rural areas to cities to tackle traffic and transportation problems is not the most sensible decision, and more realistic factors need to be taken into account to fundamentally deal with the issue.

习作

With development of the economy, there are growing concerns about traffic. .Some people believe the best way to solve the problem associated with traffic and transportation is to inspire citizens to live in cities instead of in rural areas.From my perspective, it is a good idea but not the best way.

There are two main reasons why it is a good way.Firstly, more people living in cities can reduce the frequency of using transportation, which can reduce the stress of traffic to some extent.Besides, more people living in cities can reduce the time of commuting In other words, it can somewhat reduce time stuck in the traffic jam.

However, this proposal has gone too far from the best solution to traffic and transportation.The biggest problem of the view is who can afford the cost that people all move to cities.Most people who live in suburbs and the countryside cannot afford the expensive rent in cities unless the government can pay for them.But if the government takes this responsibility, that must be a huge burden.Apart from that, the huge number of people living in cities would destroy traffic and transportation in cities. People’s demand for transportation is limited in smaller areas, which not only increases the presure on traffic in the city but also lead to other social problems such as urban health and crime.

In conclusion, although making all people live in cities helps with traffic and transportation to some extent, I contend that it is not the best way and even may cause other problems

综合评价：

1. 写作任务回应情况: 作文回应了题目要求，对于是否鼓励人们居住在城市以解决交通问题，作者给出了自己的观点，并在全文中保持了清晰的立场。然而，某些论点没有充分展开或不够清晰，例如，在第二段作者提到的两个论点，“更多的人居住在城市可以减少交通压力”和“更多人居住城市可以减少通勤时间”，两个论点好像在说同一件事情，也没有给出具体的解释或证据来支持，显得论证有些无力。
2. 语法多样性及准确性: 作文中综合使用了简单和复杂的句式，但在语法和标点使用上存在一些错误，例如，“Just with the development of economy, there are growing concerns about traffic.”这句话的语序不太准确，应改为”With the development of the economy, there are growing concerns about traffic.”，类似的错误体现出我们对于英语语法使用不太灵活扎实。虽然大部分情况下不影响读者理解，但可能会影响作文的整体质量。
3. 词汇丰富程度: 作文使用的词汇比较有限，比如我们在第二段写作的时候连续三句动词都是reduce，读下来感觉词汇的使用确实不太灵活。另外在固定搭配的使用上准确度还应再提升，例如，“People demand of transportation is limited in smaller areas”，这里的“demand of”应改为“demand for”。此外，作文在选词、拼写或构词方面偶尔出现错误。
4. 连贯与衔接: 作文的信息布局有逻辑，全文贯穿了清晰的主线。分段合理，每段都有明确的主题。然而，衔接手段的使用上有些机械，建议我们平常可以多积累相关的逻辑连接词，把一些基础的词汇进行升级，比如but和however换成nonetheless。

2.D&G

2.1 imported foreign films

Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to show imported foreign films and TV programs. Other people think that a country should develop their own films and TV programs instead.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

范文

In the era of globalization, people have easy access to movies and TV programs not just from their home country but also from other cultures. Some people argue that this brings many benefits to the local culture. Others, however, assert that the development of domestic films and TV programs ought to be prioritized.

Importing foreign movies or TV programs has many advantages. The one that attracts the most publicity is that this improves people’s awareness of diversified cultures. For example, many young people in China understand American customs and lifestyles by watching Friends. Consequently, they might eliminate prejudice when adjusting to unfamiliar cultures. Besides, local filmmakers and program producers have the chance of approaching new perspectives and technical expertise, such as high-quality scripts and first-rate special effects. Therefore, more local films are inclined to compete and demonstrate on an international stage, attracting audiences and spreading domestic cultures all over the world.

However, the cultural development of a nation ultimately relies on the improvement of domestic films. A compelling reason is that local TV programs tend to be culturally embedded, which in turn promote the development of domestic tourism. For instance, “Where Are We Going, Dad?”, one of the most popular Chinese TV shows, resulted in a great number of tourists from home and abroad exploring historical attractions where they were televised. Furthermore, governments could maintain and preserve their typical values. By watching nationally produced films and TV programs, people would develop a sense of belonging to its culture, such as cooking traditional cuisines and attending national festivals.

In my opinion, although introducing foreign films and TV programs is beneficial to a country’s culture, domestic ones which enhance and encourage local cultural values should be highly supported.

习作

Just with the development of multicultural communication, there is growing discussion about importing foreign films and TV programs. Whereas some people believe that importing those can help promote a country’s culture, others think that it is better to develop their own films and TV programs instead.

On the one hand, people who support importing foreign films and TV programs have the following considerations. Most importantly, it can enrich a country’s own culture, meaning that people can benefit from foreign films and TV programs. For example, filmmakers can use other country’s cultural elements in their own films. Another consideration is that it may engender tolerance for cultural differences. We can imagine people will wonder some behaviors of Americans if they watch American films every day, which can promote understanding and respect between people from different countries.

On the other hand, there are reasons to believe that it would be a better choice to develop their own films and TV programs. Obviously, it helps to show more local traditional culture, giving rise to maintain and reinforce a nation’s identity. By contrast, importing more foreign films and TV programs might damage local culture. Apart from that, it is good for the native entertainment industry to produce is own films and TV programs. As we know, the excessive introduction of foreign films must destroy the local entertainment industry, leading to unemployment. Without related workers, a country’s culture is bound to decline.

In conclusion, although both importing foreign films and TV programs and developing the own are essential, I contend developing own films and TV programs is more valuable, because importing foreign films and TV programs may bring about cultural shock, leading to cultural uniformity.

2.2 freedom to make mistakes

Some people believe that adults should give children freedom to make mistakes. Others think that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

范文

There are those who opine that young people ought to be free to make mistakes, while others argue that grown-ups ought to help children avoid these. This essay will initially discuss the two ideas, followed by a presentation of my perspective, which is that children should be allowed to make mistakes.

It is justified that children making mistakes is acceptable. This is primarily because they can learn from what they do wrong. For example, they will learn from their errors whilst solving complex maths problems, teaching them to be meticulous, not only in this subject but other areas as well. They can also realise where their shortcomings lie and make every effort to address them. Another point is that they will gain the courage to do what they have a passion for in the future. If young charges are not scolded or punished by their parents when making mistakes, they will not be fearful of embarking on something new even if challenges and risks exist.

However, it is also true that there is necessity for adults to reduce the possibility of children making mistakes. The main reason is that children’s self-confidence can be maintained. If children make mistakes, they may doubt their ability, feeling demotivated and unconfident. In contrast, parents’ effort enables children to firmly believe in themselves, ultimately making progress in whatever they do. Moreover, children’s efficiency of accomplishing various tasks can be improved. Without making mistakes, children will not spend time repeating what they intend to accomplish and the amount of time they have saved can be allocated to other activities.

In conclusion, I believe that both sides of the argument are reasonable. On balance, my conviction is that children benefit from making mistakes. After all, they can understand much more than the lessons learned from mistakes and dare to achieve their goals regardless of the difficulty they may encounter. They may well, in my view, achieve something remarkable when they grow up.

习作

In today’s society, whereas some parents hold the view that children should be prevented from making mistakes, others believe that mistakes that children make is beneficial to their development.

On the one hand, people who believe children should avoid mistakes have the following considerations. First of all, mistakes made by children could lead to hurt for others.For example, if children make a mistake in a basketball game in a critical moment, their team would lose the game and their teammates would also be sad for the mistake.Another consideration is that children who often make mistakes could give rise to a lack of confidence.In other words, children who often make mistakes usually get negative feedback, and finally they would question themselves with a doubt about whether they can do well.

On the other hand, there are two reasons to believe that the freedom of making mistakes can help children to grow up.Obviously, children can grow up from mistakes.Mistakes can give children valuable lessons.By contrast, children cannot get real growth without mistakes. Apart from that, mistakes can enable children to gain greater achievement in the future.In fact, people would make a lot of mistakes in their whole life.If children have no chance to make mistakes, they can not face the mistakes that they make in future.The real meaning is what they can learn from mistakes.

In conclusion, although both sides have their rationality, I contend that it is more valuable to give children freedom to make mistakes because that can improve children’s ability to take great pressure.

综合评价：

1. 写作任务回应情况: 作文基本完成了写作任务，分别讨论了两种观点并给出了自己的看法。然而，某些论点没有充分展开或不够清晰，例如在讨论孩子犯错误对他们自身发展的好处时，论述不够深入，缺乏具体的例证和论据。此外，开头段缺少一句自己的看法的总括，只有对题目的改写不太够哦~
2. 连贯与衔接: 作文的信息有布局，但在讨论孩子犯错误的好处时，论述的逻辑并不清晰。作文的分段合理，衔接词汇用的也很丰富，主要需要注意的是论述的逻辑，需要逐层剖析，不能是观点罗列~
3. 词汇丰富程度: 作文使用了足够的词汇，试图使用一些不常用的词汇，但有时使用不准确，例如”children can get real growth without mistake”，这里的句意逻辑需要斟酌，可以改为”children cannot achieve real growth without making mistakes”。此外，作文在拼写或构词方面存在一些错误，例如”negetive”应改为”negative”，”whold”应改为”whole”，这些错误虽然不影响读者理解，但对作文的整体质量有所影响。另外，名词的单复数也是需要注意的问题，如mistakes。
4. 语法多样性及准确性: 作文中综合使用了简单和复杂句式，但语法和标点存在一些错误，例如”people who children should aviod mistakes”应改为”people who believe children should avoid mistakes”，”children who often makes mistakes”应改为”children who often make mistakes”，应该在联系中多加注意从句的引导词的使用，以防句子成分残缺或多余；还要注意主谓一致问题，要区分清楚主句和从句的主语和谓语分别是谁~

2.3 environmental problems & individuals

范文

Along with the rapid social development, severe environmental issues have become the public concern, with an urgent demand for effective measures. Some people suppose that individuals can hardly make a huge difference to the seemingly overwhelming environmental problems, while from my perspective, small though individuals’ efforts and contributions are, they play an indispensable role in addressing environmental issues.

Admittedly, there are good grounds to argue that environmental issues need to be tackled on a macro-level, where efforts from every individual seem to be too small for solving large-scale problems. Since fundamentally addressing environmental issues calls for collaborative efforts from different parties, only governments and large enterprises can make use of abundant national budget and advanced technologies to take on the responsibility. Taking the climate change as an example, the effective solutions, whether it be setting stricter standards on carbon emissions or promoting greener alternatives to alleviate problems, go beyond the individual power.

However, efforts from every resident in the ecosystem should not be ignored. For one thing, the daily behavior of general public exerts impacts on the environment directly, which means only when individuals change their lifestyles can the environmental issues be ameliorated. For instance, once every person gives up the convenience of private vehicles, the problems of energy crisis and subsequent air pollution will be significantly alleviated. In the long run, accumulated individual contributions can be a huge integrated force to preserve the ecosystem. For another, any policy will be implemented in vain without the execution power of every single individual. A good example can be found in the regulation of waste collection system, where although authorities encourage the citizens to recycle garbage, the environment can hardly be improved obviously without everyone’s participation.

In conclusion, the involvement of individuals should be identified as an indispensable part in dealing with environmental issues.

习作

With the aggravating environmental problems, there are growing discussions about whether individuals should take part in the protection of environment. Whereas some people believe individuals can not solve environmental problems as they are too big, others think that these problems cannot be solved without individuals’ actions.

On the one hand, people who believe it is useless for individuals to take actions to deal with environmental problems have the following considerations. The first consideration is that environmental problems involve many things but the power of individuals is too small. For example, air pollution involves the relationship between countries which individuals can not cope with. Another consideration is that it is difficult for individuals to reach the consensus about environment. For instance, taxi drivers may disagree with the plan of reducing car exhaust emissions.

On the other hand, there are two reasons why it is very valuable for individuals to take actions to protect the environment. Most importantly, it helps to improve environmental awareness. In other words, all citizens participating in environmental protection movements help to form the consensus despite some disagreements at the beginning. Apart from that, although the strength of individuals may be small, the power of every person gathering together is big. If every person drives less as much as possible, the quality of air would be better.

In conclusion, it has to be acknowledged that despite the small efforts of each individual, I contend that it is necessary for individuals to take actions to solve environmental problems, because the combined contribution is enormous enough to make a big difference.

综合评价：

从任务完成来说，开头要言简意赅；正文2段分述论点即可，1段说政府责任不容小视因为Only governments can make use of money and advanced technologies to take on the responsibility；另1段支持个人努力重要，论点要更具体，比如举例论证：个人微小的努力（节约能源，使用公共交通）如何产生很大影响；论证时还可尝试without虚拟语气，比如Environment could hardly be improved without everyone’s participation以及定从解释前句如：The daily behavior of general public exerts direct impacts on the environment directly, which means each individual makes a huge difference on the earth.结尾可以更言简意赅：The effort from every resident should not be ignored no matter how small it is ;从连贯角度，还可尝试Admittedly、Nevertheless于段首分别展开双方论点；替换additionally=more importantly表递进；in this case在这种情况下（in this sense从这种意义上说）等；从词汇角度，although注意拼写；may be谓语动词（maybe副词）； 从语法上说：注意主谓一致；disagree with加名词；积累表达recyclable可循环的；at the cost of sacrificing environment以牺牲环境为代价；collaborative efforts共同努力；play a key part in扮演重要角色；It is hard to imagine很难想象；insignificant微不足道的；handle=tackle=cope with处理；make efforts付出努力；impose threat on施加威胁；参考范文认真修改，冲击6分，加油哦！

3. Pros&Cons

3.1 read the newspaper or watch TV programs

More and more people no longer read the newspaper or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

范文

In recent decades, how people access news has undergone a substantial change from newspaper and television to the internet, and I firmly believe this is a positive development.

how people access news has undergone a substantial change 人们获取新闻的方式发生了重大变化

access something to be able to have or use something, especially something that you have a right to

firmly believe 坚信;深信 firmly adv.坚定地;坚决地;坚固地

One of the major benefits of such change is that news now can be read in a cheaper and faster way. People no longer need to turn on the TV at home or purchase printed newspapers in a store; instead, they are able to know what is happening in the world by simply using their smartphones or tablets basically anytime and anywhere, be it during commuting or in the bed before sleep. Additionally, readers also could enjoy the speed and immediacy of online news, as it can be posted online as soon as it is ready rather than published once a day as the printed versions do. The constant updating of a news story also means people can follow the development easily. In this way, information acquisition has become an effortless activity with improved effectiveness.

no longer need to 不再需要

smartphones or tablets 智能手机或平板电脑

be it during commuting or in the bed before sleep 无论是在通勤期间还是睡前躺在床上

be it…… or …… = whether it be …… or …… , 是一种表示让步的虚拟倒装结构，由 be 引起的倒装句表示让步，并带有虚拟语气的结构特点。

• Be it a defeat or a win, we can still choose to be happy. 不管输赢，我们仍然可以选择快乐。
• Be it happy or sad , it is always regarded as the most significant part of one’s life.无论是快乐还是悲伤，它总是被认为是人生中最重要的一部分。
• The business of each day, be it selling goods or shipping them, went quite smoothly. 每天的生意，无论是销售货物还是运输货物，都进行得相当顺利。

the speed and immediacy of online news 网络新闻的速度和即时性

immediacy /ɪˈmiːdiəsi/ N-UNCOUNT 即时性;紧迫性

be posted online 发布在网上

xxxx as soon as yyyy ： 只要yyyy好了，就可以xxxx

once a day 每天一次

as the printed versions do 就像印刷版一样

The constant updating of a news story 新闻报道的不断更新

Another positive that online news reading has to offer is the broad range of content. This means people can compare different sources of information, which not only verifies the credibility but also garners sufficient information to avoid bias and misunderstanding. For instance, people could gather accounts or videos on a criminal offence from different perspectives for a more comprehensive understanding rather than being misled by some news agencies that tend to omit or distort information. The abundant information also means smaller news items that are not covered by traditional press or broadcasts could be available to keep readers more informed.

the broad range of content 广泛的内容

compare different sources of information 比较不同的信息来源

verify the credibility 验证可信度

garner sufficient information 收集足够的信息

• garner /ˈɡɑːnə(r)/ [VN] (formal) 获得，得到，收集（信息、支持等）

avoid bias and misunderstanding 避免偏见和误解

gather accounts or videos on a criminal offence 收集刑事犯罪的报道或视频

• offence /əˈfens/ N-COUNT 违法行为；罪行

• criminal /ˈkrɪmɪnl/ ① N-COUNT 罪犯②ADJ 犯罪的;犯法的③ADJ 罪过的;严重错误的④[only before noun] 刑法的；刑事的connected to the laws that deal with crime

• account： An account is a written or spoken report of something that has happened. 报道

a more comprehensive understanding 更全面的了解

some news agencies 一些新闻机构

omit or distort information 遗漏或歪曲信息

• omit /əˈmɪt/ VERB 省略；删节；排除；遗漏
• distort /dɪˈstɔːt/ VERB 歪曲;扭曲;曲解

traditional press or broadcasts 传统媒体或广播

news items 指代新闻报道的集合或单个条目

cover：VERB 报道 If journalists, newspapers, or television companies cover an event, they report on it.

keep readers more informed 让读者了解更多信息

• keep 表示“保持”或“维持” ，使役动词，使某物或某人产生某种动作或状态
• informed /ɪnˈfɔːmd/ ADJ-GRADED 有知识的;了解情况的;见多识广的 Someone who is informed knows about a subject or what is happening in the world.

be available： 可以获得；可以使用

xxxx could be available to keep readers more informed xxxx可以让读者了解更多信息

• to表目的

In conclusion, although the internet as the medium for news reading develops at some expense of the traditional news industry, I would argue this trend can have a huge positive impact considering the more effective information circulation and the massive amount of content available for news readers.

the medium for news reading 新闻阅读媒介

• medium ①N-COUNT 媒介;介质;媒介物②N-COUNT (表现)方式;(交流)手段③ADJ 中等的;中间的;中号的

at some expense of … 以牺牲…为代价

the more effective information circulation 更有效的信息流通

• information circulation 信息流通
• circulation /ˌsɜːkjəˈleɪʃn/ ①N-COUNT (报纸、杂志的)发行量，销售量) ② N-UNCOUNT 血液循环③[ U ] （信息）流传，传播;（货币或商品）流通

the massive amount of content available for news readers 可供新闻读者阅读的大量内容

• the massive amount of 大量的
• available + 介词 for ： N1 available for N2 ：对于N2 这里人/动作，N1可以可以获得/使用

习作(老师批改后)

Just with the development of Internet technology, people gradually prefer to get news about the world by the Internet, rather than read the newspaper or watch TV programs. Many people are concerned about the associated dangers from this change, whereas from my perspective, the benefits outweigh these potential risks.

prefer to do sth. 更喜欢做某事

prefer A to B. A 和 B 相比，更喜欢 A

prefer doing sth. to doing sth. 喜欢做某事，而不喜欢做某事

prefer to do sth. raher than do sth. 宁愿做某事而不愿做某事。

It is easy to identify the positive influences of this development. Firstly, the Internet is more real-time than traditional media, as every person can upload videos or news on the Internet. By contrast, producing news in traditional ways would need much more time. Apart from that, the appearance of the Internet gives real news freedom to people. In the past, some important news involving the public was controlled by politicians for their own profits. However, now it becomes increasingly difficult for them to do this.

instant ADJ 立即的;即刻的。 通常用于描述一种立即的、瞬间的反应或结果

• instant messaging（即时通讯）
• instant coffee（速溶咖啡）

real-time 即时处理的，实时的。强调的是在事件发生的同时进行报道，通常用于描述新闻、数据或信息在某个特定时间点或短时间内是最新或最及时的

the appearance of the Internet 互联网的出现

achieve press freedom 实现新闻自由

involve [VN] 牵涉；牵连；影响

• involve sth & be involved in/with sth
• some important news involving the public = some important news involved in the public=一些涉及公众的重要新闻

It has to be acknowledged that rumors are being more commonly seen with the development of the Internet, which somewhat misleads the public. That is because nobody would check whether news is true, which was usually the responsibility of traditional media companies in the past. However, this problem can be resolved. The government can take on this responsibility and also introduce laws to make the Internet companies check the news before people upload their videos or news. Also, it is important to educate people about the truth of news.

although/whilst/whereas/because/while通常引导从句，不是主谓宾补齐全的句子，而不能用来当作一个独立的句子用，尤其在书面语中

rumors are being more commonly seen 谣言越来越常见

somewhat misleads the public 有点误导公众

That is because … 那是因为…

check whether news is true 检查消息是否属实

the responsibility of … …的责任

take on responsibility 承担责任

In conclusion, although the news on the Internet maybe mislead readers sometimes I contend that it is more valuable to recognize that the Internet makes news instant and free.

sometimes adv.有时

sometime adv.在某时(不确切或尚未确定)

形式主语：

• It is +n./adj. +(for/of sb.) to do sth.
• It is no use/good/pleasure doing sth.
• It is/was +n./adj. + that…
• It is said/reported/believed… that…

综合评价：

1. 结构基本完整，脉络比较清晰，但语言还需多多努力才行，字数不够达标。第一段引出这个现象，并给出自己的观点，注意字句上的小失误，各段都需要注意小失误，就不一一赘述了。第二段讲They get news about the world through the Internet这一变化的好处，段首主题句还不错。第三段讲这个现象的不好的后果，但是段落展开不够充分，而且后半部分的论述不在本题范围之内，本题只需要论述get news about the world through the Internet这个行为的优劣势就行、不需要讨论如何来消除其缺点。最后一段总结全文，重申自己的观点。文章字数不够达标的250字。

2. 衔接词的使用意识还不错，第二、三段在演绎get news about the world through the Internet这个概念的优劣势时使用了若干，各段逻辑比较清晰，不过字句上的小失误不少，需多注意才行。

3. 词汇量尚可，但不少单词使用时的准确度需进一步提高。选词用词的细节上还需多注意才行。要尽量避免冠词使用、单复数、拼写、选词、搭配等方面的小错。要加强单词记忆，记忆单词时要努力记牢单词的音、形、义、搭配，尤其词的搭配，光记住某个单词不够、会用才是真功夫。

4. 语法尚可，对句子细节的把控力需进一步提升，不少细节还需进一步下功夫，个别表达中的汉语思维痕迹需尽量消除。行文时需尽量避免主谓一致、动词选词、时态、搭配方面的小错。尤其搭配上，还需多积累才行。每个标点后面要加一个空格。

不辜负身边每一场花开花落，不辜负身边一点一滴的拥有，盼君不负时光，再接再厉，考试取得好成绩!

3.2 use a mobile phone to answer work and personal calls

Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer work and personal calls at any time, 7 days a week.

Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

范文

Mobile phones have become readily available for modern people, enabling easy access to various phone calls at any time. While embracing this innovation and appreciating its benefits, people have largely recognized the detrimental effects on individuals and society. In my opinion, the negative influences outweigh the positive ones.

Mobile phones have become readily available for modern people 现代人很容易就能买到手机

• available /əˈveɪləbl/ ADJ 能找到的；可获得的 If something you want or need is available, you can find it or obtain it.
• readily /ˈredɪli/ ①快捷地；轻而易举地；便利地 ②欣然地；乐意地

Mobile phones enable easy access to various phone calls at any time 手机使得随时进行各种电话通话变得容易

• enable /ɪˈneɪbl/ 使能够
• access to sth：① 通往sth的通道；②使用/见到 sth 的机会/权利
  • have access to good resources 有机会使用好的资源
  • access to the farmhouse 通往农舍的道路
  • access to confidential information 接触机密情报的机会

embrace this innovation 接受这一创新

appreciate its benefits 欣赏/体会到 其好处

largely recognized the detrimental effects 在很大程度上认识到了有害影响 /ˌdetrɪˈmentl/ /ˈrekəɡnaɪzd/

Undeniably, the high accessibility of phone calls promotes efficiency on both individual and society level. For the general public, they have achieved a much higher productivity in workplace, because work communications are no longer impeded by geographical barriers and time restriction. Likewise, personal connections have been made so convenient that any family member or friend seems only a phone call away. In turn, the whole society gains an increased speed of information exchange and overall economic development, since the mobile communication industry associates the whole world in every sense.

Undeniably /ˌʌndɪ’naɪəbli/ 无可否认;无疑

the high accessibility of phone calls 电话的高可达性=电话的方便性（容易获取）

the general public 公众

achieved a much higher productivity in workplace 在工作场所实现了更高的生产力

work communications are no longer impeded by geographical barriers and time restriction 工作沟通不再受到地理障碍和时间限制的阻碍

• impede /ɪmˈpiːd/ vt.妨碍;阻碍;阻止

personal connections 个人关系，人际关系；私人通话

• connection /kəˈnekʃn/ ①（与某人或某事的）联系 ② the way that two people can speak to each other by phone （电话）接通（质量）

a phone call away 一个电话之远，愿意过来帮忙

in turn, … ：一个副词短语，表示“相应地”或“转而”。它用于描述一种因果关系或顺序，即某件事情发生后，接着会发生另一件事情.

an increased speed of information exchange and overall economic development 更快的信息交流速度和整体的经济发展

• an increased speed 表示已经增加的速度，强调速度的增加已经完成，并且速度已经提高——更快的速度
• an increasing speed 表示正在增加的速度，强调速度正在逐渐增加，但不一定已经完成增加——不断增加的速度
• information exchange 信息交换;信息交流
• overall economic development 整体经济发展

the mobile communication industry 移动通信行业

associates the whole world 将整个世界联系起来

• associate 联想；联系

in every sense 在各个方面

However, the drawbacks of this always-on culture have emerged and alarmed the public. Overwhelming phone calls from work perplex and disturb individuals’ daily life, blurring the boundary between personal life and work and giving rise to a society where most working population find it formidable to achieve work-life balance. Another insidious danger lies in public health and safety, because the obsession with phone calls can lead to various ill habits, such as answering mobile phone while driving. For society, this trend also poses negative repercussions in the long run. The public social relation has become more indifferent than before, precisely due to readily accessible phone calls. In other words, people have been so drawn to the idea of making a call that they are alienating each other in real life. This breakdown of social bonding would further endanger the sustainability of social structure.

always-on： available or operating at all times 随时有人提供服务的

• always-on IT support 24小时技术支持
• always-on culture 一直工作的文化/ 一直待命的文化

drawbacks have emerged 缺点已经显现

• emerge /iˈmɜːdʒ/ 出现;露出

alarm the public 引起了公众的警觉/ 题型公众

• alarm /əˈlɑːm/ verb [ T ] to make someone worried or frightened 令某人担心或害怕

overwhelming phone calls 铺天盖地的电话

• overwhelming /ˌəʊvəˈwelmɪŋ/ （数量）巨大的，压倒性的

perplex and disturb individuals’ daily life 困扰和干扰个人的日常生活

• perplex /pəˈpleks/ 使困扰 to confuse and worry someone slightly by being difficult to understand or solve

blur the boundary between personal life and work 模糊个人生活和工作之间的界限

• blur /blɜː(r)/ （使）变得模糊不清
• boundary /ˈbaʊndri/ 分界线，边界

working population 劳动人口;劳动人口，工作人口

find it formidable to achieve work-life balance 发现实现工作与生活的平衡很难

• formidable /fəˈmɪdəbl/ 可怕的；令人敬畏的；难对付的 because that thing or person is large, powerful, or difficult

Another insidious danger lies in public health and safety 另一个潜在的危险在于公共健康和安全

• insidious /ɪnˈsɪdiəs/ 隐伏的;潜在的;不知不觉间加剧的

the obsession with phone calls 对电话的痴迷

• obsession /əbˈseʃn/ N-VAR 着迷

various ill habits 各种坏习惯

answer mobile phone 接听手机

pose negative repercussions 造成负面影响

• repercussion /ˌriːpəˈkʌʃn/ (间接的)影响;反响;恶果

in the long run 从长远看;终究

The public social relation has become more indifferent than before 公共社会关系比以前更加冷漠了

• indifferent /ɪnˈdɪfrənt/ 不感兴趣的;不关心的;冷淡的

precisely /prɪˈsaɪs.li/ （用于强调）恰恰，正 used to emphasize what you are saying

readily accessible phone calls 随时可以拨打的电话

• accessible /əkˈsesəbl/ 可进入的，可接近的；可得到的able to be reached or easily got

people have been so drawn to the idea of making a call that they are alienating each other in real life. 人们被打电话的想法所吸引，以至于在现实生活中彼此疏远。

• draw /drɔː/ –drew /druː/ – drawn /drɔːn/ 吸引

• draw A to B：吸引A到B Her screams drew passers-by to the scene. 她的惊叫声把过路人吸引到了现场。

• A be drawn to B : A被B所吸引

• so that引导目的状语从句，为了…… ：John got up at 6:00 so that he can catch the early bus. 约翰六点就起床了，以便能赶上早班车。

• so that引导结果状语从句，意思是“结果……”：John injured his leg, so that he had to stay at home for a month. 约翰伤了腿，结果不得不在家待一个月。

• so…that…引导结果状语从句，意思是“如此……以至于……”：I was so busy that I had no time to reply his letter. 我太忙了，连回他信的时间都没有。

• alienate /ˈeɪliəneɪt/ （感情上、思想上）使疏远，离间。 结果状语从句使用进行时表示表示现在正在发生的动作或状态。

• in real life 在现实生活中

breakdown [C, U] （关系的）破裂；（讨论、系统的）失败

social bonding 社会联系；社会纽带

further endanger the sustainability of social structure 进一步危及社会结构的可持续性

• sustainability /səsˌteɪnəˈbɪlɪti/ 可持续性

In conclusion, while admitting the positive influences of people being able to connect with mobile phones, I personally contend that the downsides are more significant for both individuals and the society, considering the damage to our current life and possible long-term consequences.

downsides /ˈdaʊnˌsaɪdz/ 缺点;不利方面 downside的复数

possible long-term consequences 可能的长期后果 这里的possible 和insidious 一样的

the damage to our current life 对我们当前生活的损害

习作

In contemporary society, it has become the norm that most people are able to answer calls on a mobile phone for work and private things at 24/7. Many people are concerned about the associated negative effects, whereas from my perspective, the positive effects outweigh the negative.

in contemporary society / kənˈtemprəri /在当代社会

answer calls/phones 接听电话

at 24/7 全天候

be concerned about 关心, 关注

It is easy to identify the positive effects of this development that smart phones can be used to answer calls every moment. Firstly, there is no doubt that this development makes people’s life and work more convenient. For personal life, we can make a call to contact our family and friends whenever it is and wherever they are. Of course, we can also call our colleagues to help deal with some emergencies. Apart from that, the extensive usage of mobile phones improves the efficiency of society, boosting economy growth. By that I mean we need not wait some information for a long time as before.

make a call 打电话

whenever it is and wherever they are 无论何时何地

deal with some emergencies 处理一些紧急情况 /ɪˈmɜːdʒənsiz/

the extensive usage of mobile phones 手机的广泛使用

boost economy growth 促进经济增长

improves the efficiency of society 提高社会效率

as before 和以前一样

It has to be acknowledged that our managers can also use phones to call us for some urgent matters that they think at midnight, which blurrs the boundary between life and work, causing employees to work overtime without payment. That is exactly some people’s concerns. However, this problem can be addressed. The government can make laws to control employers’ behavior, with the laws claiming/requiring that unless employers pay extra money, employees can refuse to answer the phone of employers.

some urgent matters 一些紧急事项

cause sb to do sth 促使某人做某事

work overtime without payment 无偿加班

address the problem 解决问题;处理问题

“the laws require …“ 更强调法律或规定的强制性要求，强调员工必须得到额外的报酬，否则可以拒绝接听雇主的电话。这种表达方式强调了法律的权威性和强制性，让人更加明确地理解法律规定的内容和要求。

“the laws claim …“ 则更强调法律声明或声明的性质，强调法律规定的内容是真实、合法的，而不是虚假或未经证实的。这种表达方式强调了法律的合法性和正当性，让人更加信任和接受法律规定的内容

pay extra money 支付额外费用

In conclusion, although this development leads to a few negative effects, I content it is positive on the whole, because people always find ways to cope with the negative effects.

综合评价：

在写作任务回应情况上，本文较好回应了写作任务。不足的地方是没有分析不间断接听电话对society的负面影响，可从减弱面对面交流频率，从而致使人际关系肤浅、疏离等角度分析。 在连贯与衔接上，段落划分上建议写完一段空一行。衔接词使用方面较为机械且略显口语化，可将firstly替换为first and foremost等，of course替换为undoubtedly，it is undeniable that，I mean替换为in other words等。指代方面问题不大。 在词汇丰富程度和准确性上，注意cause sb to do sth这一固定搭配。本文单复数错误较多，注意可数名词单数形式一般不能单独出现。本文部分用词较为简单，可将many替换为a variety of，quantities of等，easy替换为straightforward等。可参考范文，积累productivity，overwhelming等较好表达。 在语法准确性和多样性上，本文对with+动词结构不太熟练，不能直接+动词原型，主动形式动词用ing形式，被动形式动词用过去分词形式。总体来看，本文有意识地使用定语从句、although引导状语从句、there be句型、非谓语作伴随状语等，熟悉各种句型，可尝试积累使用倒装句高级句型。同时本文对情态动词使用过多，可适当控制，换成其他表达。

3.3 private information online

Today more people put personal and private information online to do everyday activities such as banking, shopping and socializing.

Is this a positive or negative development？

范文

In digital era, people have become used to putting personal information online, in order to improve the efficiency of many daily activities, like banking process and shopping. Many people are concerned about the associated dangers, whereas in my opinion, these potential risks do not outweigh the benefits.

Despite growing recognition of the dangers, the majority of individuals decide to store personal information online, because this allows for greater ease of access. For example, users store a username and password on a website without second thought, for they enjoy the fast log-in and the saving of effort and time. For online shopping and banking procedure, consumers are even willing to expose more confidential information to enjoy faster transactions. Another advantage is that when problems do occur, the record would be trackable, precisely because of the registered information. Law enforcement will be made easier in case of crime, especially fraud, whereas without authentic online information, the tracking of finance would be almost impossible.

It has to be acknowledged that sensitive information registered online would lead to greater vulnerability of privacy. Naturally, there can be instances where the information is stolen through a variety of methods, such as phishing emails and hacking websites. People constantly get unwanted phone calls that attempt to sell them services or swindle them out of money. In some cases, this can lead to crimes, like identity theft and financial fraud. Nonetheless, these instances are avoidable, as the public awareness is increasing and online regulations ameliorating. In fact, a large number of people are able to protect themselves from these potential dangers, and they will probably educate their family members and friends to do so.

In conclusion, putting personal data online seems to be the result of a series of tradeoffs for people living in this era, and I believe it is a positive development on the whole. Since online life almost always requires a certain amount of exposure of information, consumers must become aware of the safe use of online data while enjoying the convenience that it brings.

习作

With the development of the Internet, there are an increasing number of people who post personal and private information online for daily activities such as banking, shopping and socializing.Some people are concerned about the associated dangers, while from my perspective, the benefits of it outweigh these potential risks.

There are two main reasons why this is a positive development.Most importantly, it boosts economic growth. As more people put private information on social media, some people can gain public attention which can bring themselves fame and money. In fact, the process of producing Internet celebrities has become an industry, creating thousands of jobs.Apart from that, uploading personal and private information online makes life more convenient.If you want to meet new friends, you can post your information on relative social media, after which others interested in you would contact you.If you put your information about address on shopping sites, you can enjoy online shopping.

It has to be acknowledged that this development may cause privacy problems because others can easily get personal information online and use them for fraud. However, the risks can be reduced efficiently.In terms of individuals they should not upload passwords on strange websites.That can avoid key information being stolen.

In conclusion, although putting personal and private information online indeed leads to some problems, I contend that positive influence outweighs the main disadvantages due to convenience in personal life and the improvement of the economy.

综合评价：

1.语法多样性及准确性：作文中综合使用了简单和复杂句式，但在语法和标点使用上存在一些错误，如“process of produce Internet celebrities”应改为“process of producing Internet celebrities”，这些错误虽然不影响读者理解，但对于雅思作文来说，需要更准确的语法使用。2.词汇丰富程度：作文使用了足够的词汇来表达观点，但有些词汇运用不太恰当；要注意冠词使用、名词单复数等细节问题。3.连贯与衔接：段落划分较为合理，段落内部的行文不够一致（如主体段1和主体段2的最后一句均不能与其所在段落的行文逻辑保持一致）；段落内部的行文可以更清晰一些，可以先用1句话点明论点，再用2-3句话对论点中蕴含的逻辑进行进一步解释，如：Storing personal information online can bring convenience and improve people’s efficiency（论点）. To be more concrete, users can put their usernames and passwords on the website for quick logging in. It is also unnecessary for people to memorize some important information by themselves, which saves effort and time（围绕论点进行的具体阐述）.。4.写作任务回应情况：能够回应写作任务；能够在开头段表明本文观点并围绕观点展开相关论证；主体段的论点可以更清晰一些，论证过程可以更充分一些。

4. Reasons / Solutions / Problems

4.1 Many museums and historical sites

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists, not local people.

Why is this the case?

What can be done to attract local people?

范文

It is generally acknowledged that various historical sites and highly acclaimed museums are frequently visited by tourists rather than native residents. Here is an essay aiming to illustrate some reasons contributing to this phenomenon and its potential solutions.

It is generally acknowledged that … 人们普遍认为…

acclaimed /əˈkleɪmd/ 受称赞的，受拥戴的

highly acclaimed 广受好评的；高度赞誉的

The primary reason lies in the fact that ==familiarity breeds boredom==. The overwhelming majority of sightseers explore a new city for the sake of feeling her exclusive cultural heritage or appreciating museums which are exotic to them. However, the local people are seldom in the mood to enjoy indigenous scenery since mental pleasure or visual enjoyment, more often than not, arises out of exploring the unknown. Moreover, ==the relatively expensive ticket of museums== might create formidable barriers for local citizens. The enthusiasm of visitors of outside places is supported by sufficient tourist budget and tremendous vigour whereas the wonderful wish of the local to visit nearby scenery is often handicapped by their limited budget.

familiarity breeds boredom 熟悉滋生无聊

boredom /ˈbɔːdəm/ n.无聊;厌倦;厌烦

familiarity /fəˌmɪl.iˈær.ə.ti/ 通晓;熟知，熟悉

The overwhelming majority of sightseers 绝大多数游客

overwhelming majority 压倒性多数（或优势）;压倒性多数

overwhelming /ˌəʊvəˈwelmɪŋ/ adj.巨大的；压倒性的；无法抗拒的

majority /məˈdʒɒrəti/ [S] 大多数，大部分(A singular noun.)

for the sake of 为了…

sake /seɪk/ 目的;理由

exclusive cultural heritage 专属文化遗产

exclusive /ɪkˈskluːsɪv/ （个人或集体）专用的，专有的，独有的，独占的

cultural heritage /ˈkʌltʃərəl ˈherɪtɪdʒ/ 文化遗产

exotic /ɪɡˈzɒtɪk/ 异国风情的，外国情调的；奇异的

seldom adv. almost never 很少;几乎从来没有

be in a/the mood for sth/to do sth 想要…／想做…

indigenous scenery 当地风光

indigenous /ɪnˈdɪdʒənəs/ (formal) 本地的；当地的；土生土长的(~ to…)

• The kangaroo is indigenous to Australia.袋鼠原产于澳大利亚。

scenery /ˈsiːnəri/ 风景;风光;景色;

visual enjoyment 视觉享受

visual /ˈvɪʒuəl/ adj.视觉的;视力的

more often than not = usually 往往;通常;多半

arise out of/from sth (rather formal) （由…）引起；（因…）产生

• injuries arising out of a road accident 道路交通事故造成的伤害
• Emotional or mental problems can arise from a physical cause.身体上的原因可以引起情绪或精神上的问题。

the unknown 未知的事物

relatively expensive 相对昂贵的

formidable /fəˈmɪdəbl/ 可怕的；令人敬畏的；难对付的

barrier /ˈbæriə(r)/ n.障碍;屏障;

enthusiasm /ɪnˈθjuːziæzəm/ 热情；热心；热忱

sufficient tourist budget/ səˈfɪʃnt/ 充足的旅游预算

tremendous vigour 巨大的活力

vigour=vigor(AmE) /ˈvɪɡə(r)/ N-UNCOUNT 体力;精力;活力

tremendous /trəˈmendəs/ ADJ-GRADED 巨大的;极大的;大量的

the wonderful wish 美好的愿望

handicap /ˈhændikæp/ ①N-COUNT （生理或智力上的）残障，残疾 ②N-COUNT 不利条件;障碍③ VERB 妨碍;使不利

be handicapped by … : 受到 … 阻碍

limited budget 有限的预算

When it comes to how to motivate indigenous people to visit adjacent tourist resorts, museums or galleries, several measures could be implemented. The first one would be for the museum ==to contain several entertaining or delightful elements== as the main purpose of visiting such places is for pleasure and enjoyment and the purpose might be defeated with a lack of humorous factors. Thus, some theme visit activities might be suggested. Furthermore, ==the local mass media could strengthen the publicity of these places of interest== in order to spark the public interests. Lastly, ==the free-admission policies== could be adopted on some special days so as to encourage locals to enjoy the beauty of these tourist attractions.

motivate sb to do : 刺激/激发 sb做某事

adjacent /əˈdʒeɪ.sənt/ very near, next to, or touching 邻近的;毗连的

tourist resorts 旅游胜地

resort ①N-COUNT (度假)胜地 ②verb. resort to sth. 诉诸；求助于；依靠

gallery /ˈɡæləri/ 画廊

delightful /dɪˈlaɪtfl/ ADJ-GRADED 令人高兴的;使人愉快的;给人快乐的

such places 这样的地方

such 这样的;那样的;上述的;诸如此类的

defeat /dɪˈfiːt/

① VERB 击败;战胜 If you defeat someone, you win a victory over them in a battle, game, or contest.

② VERB 挫败(行动或计划);使落空To defeat an action or plan means to cause it to fail.

some theme visit activities 一些主题参观活动

mass media /mæs ˈmiːdiə/ 大众媒体，大众传媒(尤指电视、广播、报纸和杂志)

publicity/pʌbˈlɪsəti/ ①N-UNCOUNT 宣传；报道②N-UNCOUNT （媒体或公众的）关注

strengthen the publicity of these places of interest 加强对这些名胜古迹的宣传

places of interest： A place of interest can be define as a place which we would like go or interested to go.（不应该单纯的翻译为名胜古迹）

spark sth (off) 引发；触发

spark the public interests 激发公众的兴趣

the public interests 公众的利益/兴趣

the free-admission policies 免费入场政策

so as to 为了…

In conclusion, two factors contribute to native people’s slight interest in the local scenic spots. And I contend that three measures including adding some entertaining elements, facilitating the publicity as well as free-admission policies would constitute a crucial step in resolving this problem.

scenic spots /ˈsiːnɪk spɒts/ 景点

习作(老师批改后)

In contemporary society, many people prefer to visit museums and historical sites in other places rather than local places. The reason causing to this situation is that local attractions become less innovative while attractions in other places are more appealing for local people. To resolve this issue, both short-term actions and long terms planning would be needed.

innovative /ˈɪnəveɪtɪv/ adj.创新的;革新的;

Obviously, there is no innovation in local museums and historical sites. Local citizens growing up here are too familiar with local culture to be willing to visit these attractions. Actually, most of them have been to these places at least once by their parents when they were a child. Nobody is willing to pay to see the same thing such as similar exhibits and lectures for the second time. By contrast, local people can be always attracted by a place where they have never been.

exhibit /ɪɡˈzɪbɪts/ ①N-COUNT 展品;陈列品②N-COUNT 展览;展出③VERB 展览;展出;陈列

In order to attract local people, managers of museums and historical sites can make a discount for local people. For example, if people visit local museums and historical sites, the grow-ups would enjoy a discount and their children would be free, which may increase their willingness of visiting. However, it can just attract local people in the short term. For the long term, we need to make museums and historical sites more attractive. More technology such as VR and AI could be adopted to enrich the form of display in museums and historical sites so that children feel interesting and curious. Also, local museums can introduce other museums’ works of art or historical items to show to local citizens, which increase the own competitiveness.

make a discount 打折

children would be free 孩子免费

adopt = use

works of art or historical items 艺术品或历史文物

competitiveness /kəmˈpetətɪvnəs/ 竞争力

In conclusion, the root reason why people dislike visiting to museums and historical sites is poor competitiveness. That requires managers to make every attempt to make their museums and historical sites more engaging and interesting.

make every attempt to 尽一切努力;千方百计

engaging and interesting 生动有趣

engaging /ɪnˈɡeɪdʒɪŋ/ adj.有趣的；令人愉快的；迷人的

综合评价：

任务完成度方面，学员的写作结构基本正确，能够对原因进行恰当分析，并给出一些建议，观点基本能够有一定的解释和拓展，但原因方面除了从“参观者”角度出发，还可以考虑从“博物馆”角度出发，可以补充相关具体论证（如展览主题，还是展品的陈设，展览的方式等，导致感觉无聊，也导致了本地人不愿意参观）,提到的原因论述逻辑需要更加完整，解释为什么不感兴趣从而不去参观。本地人不参观的部分解释也可以更加具体。连贯与衔接方面，文章有进行分段，分段方面较为合理，每个主体段可以有一个中心句概括段落大意，衔接手段方面，for example,in conclusion等使用基本合理，原因分析类型作文常用的衔接手段如as a result,consequently可以继续积累。词汇方面，文章中有替换意识，也有尝试使用一些不常见的词汇，但可以继续通过阅读一些相关英语范文或者相关话题的英语文章积累地道词汇表达，如charge,display，admission等话题词汇可以用在本文中,注意个别词语的固定搭配用法。语法方面，文章中有尝试使用一些从句，但复杂句式可以进一步通过范文积累，继续加强积累，望继续加强措辞表达，加强论述细节。望学生能够再接再厉，继续加油！

4.2 difficult to concentrate at school

Children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school.

What are the reasons?

How can we solve this problem?

范文

School children nowadays are indulged with so many kinds of electronic gadgets, the cell phone, TV, laptop and tablet, which drown children in the ocean of images and sound and prohibit them from concentrating on a single idea or thought. Therefore, it is not surprising that children raised in this environment tend to have a short attention span.

indulged /ɪnˈdʌldʒd/ v.放纵;沉湎，沉迷，沉溺(于…)（indulge的过去分词和过去式）

be indulged in sth. 沉迷于…

gadgets /ˈgædʒɪts/ n.小器具;小装置 （gadget的复数）

electronic /ɪˌlekˈtrɒnɪk/ adj.电子的;电子设备的;

tablet /ˈtæblət/ 平板电脑

drown /draʊn/ ~ sth (in sth) 浸透；淹没；浸泡

children raised in this environment 在这种环境中长大的孩子

a short attention span 短暂的注意力

attention span 注意力持续时间

span /spæn/ cn. 持续时间

This problem gets worse when ==the class is less stimulating or interesting== than what they see on the screens of multimedia. The sarcastic reality is that the school subjects can hardly compete with those popular computer games in terms of intensity and stimulation. Thus, there is no wonder that some school children are obsessed with everything except academic studies and lose their attention at class.

get/become worse 恶化;更糟;变得更糟;

同样的词还有：deteriorate /dɪˈtɪəriəreɪt/ vi. 变坏；恶化；退化 (into sth)

stimulating /ˈstɪmjuleɪtɪŋ/ 趣味盎然的；激励人的；振奋人心的

sarcastic /sɑːˈkæstɪk/ adj.讽刺的;挖苦的;嘲讽的

compete with: 与…竞争

intensity and stimulation /ˌstɪmjʊˈleɪʃən/强度和刺激

be obsessed with … : 对…痴迷

academic studies /ˌækəˈdemɪk ˈstʌdiz/ 学术研究;学生的学习

Based on the analysis above, some solutions can be suggested. ==The TV set should be quiet for some time in a day==, giving children a quiet environment for concentrating on whatever they are doing. Children should also be restricted with the use of electronic devices, particularly when they are studying at school and at home as well so that they would not be disturbed. Meanwhile, ==the importance of academic studies should be emphasized.== Once students realize this, they would be motivated and self-controlled. ==School teachers can help children focus on their study by making their class structure more inspiring and interesting.== Organizing activities to promote communication and interaction between classmates can also achieve this goal, and ultimately make the students lose themselves in study, forgetting virtual games and social network.

TV set /ˌtiː ˈviː set/ n.电视机

disturb /dɪˈstɜːb/ vt.打扰;使不安;干扰;妨碍;使烦恼;使焦虑;搅乱;弄乱;搞乱

be motivated and self-controlled 有动力和自我控制

inspiring /ɪnˈspaɪərɪŋ/ adj.鼓舞人心的;激励的;启发灵感的

promote communication and interaction 促进沟通和互动

ultimately /ˈʌltɪmətli/ adv.最终;最后;根本上

lose oneself in sth 沉迷于；专心致志于

In conclusion, when children are exposed to multimedia on a daily basis, their attention is easy to be disturbed by the constantly flipping images and sound. To resolve this issue, children should be limited to such exposure. And more importantly, they have to realize the impact of their addiction before they are able to initiate self-control.

be disturbed by the constantly flipping images and sound 被不断翻转的图像和声音干扰

flip ①VERB 快速翻阅;浏览（flip through） ②V-ERG (使)移动;(使)转动;(使)翻动

exposure N-UNCOUNT 暴露;接触 Exposure to something dangerous means being in a situation where it might affect you.

the impact of their addiction 他们上瘾的影响

addiction [U, C] ~ (to sth) 瘾；入迷；嗜好

initiate self-control 开始自我控制

initiate /ɪˈnɪʃieɪt , ɪˈnɪʃiət/ (formal) 开始；发起；创始 to make sth begin

习作(老师批改后)

It is generally acknowledged that concentrating or paying attention at school is a challenge for children. Here is an essay aiming to illustrate some reasons contributing to this phenomenon and its potential solutions.

challenge = difficulty

There are two reasons why children may struggle to pay attention at school. Most importantly, children are full of curiosity about this world. For example, children like moving around and touching everywhere in class as they want to explore anything they have not seen. Apart from that, the difficult content of courses and the monotonous teaching methods contribute to this situation. The content taught by teachers can be difficult and uninteresting for children to learn. When children do not understand what the teacher is saying in class, their attention is immediately diverted to other more interesting things. This situation is exacerbated by the dull way of teaching such as standing in front of the blackboard giving a lecture.

may struggle to do sth. : 可能很难做某事

struggle to do sth :努力做某事

monotonous /məˈnɒtənəs/ adj.单调的;单调乏味的

在某些情况下，“give rise to”可能具有更强烈的因果关系，暗示这种情况是直接由前面的因素引起的。而**“contribute to”则更强调的是多个因素共同导致某种结果**，并不一定是直接的因果关系。因此，这两个句子在表达上并没有显著的优劣之分，选择哪个主要取决于你希望强调的是直接的因果关系还是多个因素的共同影响。如果你想要强调这种情况是由课程的难度和单调的教学方法直接导致的，那么“give rise to”可能更合适。如果你想要强调的是这些因素只是对这种情况的发生起到了一定的作用，那么“contribute to”可能更合适。(文心一言)

hard通常指体力上的困难，强调需要付出更多的努力和坚持；而difficult则更侧重于智力或技能上的困难，强调需要更高的认知能力和解决问题的能力。(文心一言)

boring通常用于描述某事或某物本身就让人感到无聊或厌倦，比如“这个电影真boring”表示这个电影本身就很无聊。而uninteresting则更常用于描述人对某事或某物的感受，比如“我觉得这个电影很uninteresting”表示我认为这个电影不感兴趣。(文心一言)

be diverted to ： 被转移到…

如果你想要强调注意力被中断或转移，那么第一种表达可能更适合你（be diverted to）。如果你想要强调注意力被自然地吸引到其他更有趣的事情上，那么第二种表达可能更适合你（be attracted by）。

exacerbate /ɪɡˈzæsəbeɪt/ vt.加剧;使恶化;使加重 （相比worsen 更高级点）

worsen /ˈwɜː.sən/ （使）恶化；（使）更糟

dull /dʌl/ 枯燥的，乏味的，无趣的

In order to deal with this problem, schools need to reconsider the content of their courses, making it more accessible for children to comprehend. At the same time, teachers are also responsible for ensuring every child can understand the thing taught by teachers themselves. In addition, adopting a more interactive teaching mode is an efficient method. Teachers can design some activities such as playing roles in a drama to promote children’s interest in leaning rather than relying on tedious lectures. Children always like funny things and learn best in a fun way.

funny 和 fun的区别：funny强调引人发笑的效果，让人觉得好玩或发笑。而fun则主要指有趣、好玩，不像funny那样强调滑稽。

accessible /əkˈses.ə.bəl/ ① 可进入的，可接近的；可得到的 ② 可以理解的;易懂的

comprehend /ˌkɒm.prɪˈhend/ to understand something completely

interactive /ˌɪntərˈæktɪv/ 合作的；相互影响的；互相配合的

interactive teaching mode 交互式教学模式

tedious /ˈtiːdiəs/ adj.乏味的;冗长的;令人厌烦的;啰唆的

In conclusion, the nature of children and the content of courses are both accountable for the issue that children cannot concentrate or pay attention at school. If schools yearn to solve this problem, they need to change the content of courses and teaching methods.

be accountable for 对…负责

综合评价：

写作任务回应情况：文章对儿童在学校难以集中注意力的原因进行了说明，并提出了改善的方法，可以增加一段总结段哦，总结文章内容，用In conclusion开头以明确表明这里是总结段哦。 连贯与衔接：文章在段落和句子之间的连接相对自然，但一些句子可以通过更好的过渡变得更加流畅，使用更加丰富的过渡词例如as a result，moreover等，确保段落之间和句子之间的衔接更加顺畅哦。 词汇丰富程度：文章的词汇使用较为基础，可以通过引入一些更具体、多样性的词汇来提升表达水平哦，可以参考批注的内容哦，此外，要注意选词构词的准确性哦，例如文中funny way的表述就不太合适哦。 语法多样性及准确性：文中存在一些语法错误，例如代词的使用，主谓不一致等，需要更加注意语法准确性哦，此外，存在一些表达不够自然的地方，需要改进优化，使得表述更加流畅自然哦。此外，可以使用更丰富的表述哦，例如”reforming teaching mode” 可以更具体地表达为“adopting a more interactive teaching mode”等哦。 继续加油鸭！！！

4.3 spend more and more time far away from their families

People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families.

Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families？

范文

It is an increasing trend worldwide where people spend less time with their family members. This essay will identify the potential reasons behind this phenomenon and analyze the inevitable consequences on individuals and families.

an increasing trend worldwide 全球范围内的增长趋势

• increasing trend 增加趋势
• worldwide ADV 遍及全世界地;世界各地地

identify the potential reasons behind this phenomenon 找出这种现象背后的潜在原因

• behind prep. 在（或向）…的后面；在（或向）…的背面

analyze the inevitable consequences on individuals and families 分析对个人和家庭的不可避免的后果

• inevitable /ɪnˈevɪtəbl/ 不可避免的；不能防止的 (unavoidable /ˌʌnəˈvɔɪdəbl/)

One main reason is the increasing requirement for a high standard of living. Individuals have to seek better education or job opportunities, for the advanced courses and lucrative offers cannot be provided in the vicinity of their home. As a result, they stay away from home and contact family members only by phone or video calls. Another reason for the decline of family time is the advances in new entertainment. People prefer to indulge in video games or social networks alone, totally neglecting the feelings of their family members. A recent report by Chinese authorities reveals that young adults in recent years spend at least three hours chatting with friends or surfing online, having less time to accompany their families.

the increasing requirement for a high standard of living 对高生活水平的日益增长的要求

seek better education or job opportunities 寻求更好的教育或工作机会

the advanced courses and lucrative offers 高级课程和 赚大钱的工作机会

• lucrative /ˈluːkrətɪv/ adj. 赚大钱的；获利多的

in the vicinity of their home 在他们家附近

• in the vicinity of 在……附近
• vicinity /vəˈsɪnəti/ N-SING 邻近地区;附近

the advances in new entertainment 新娱乐的发展/进步

indulge in video games or social networks 沉迷于电子游戏或社交网络

• indulge in /ɪnˈdʌldʒ ɪn/ 沉迷于

neglect the feelings of their family members 忽视家人的感受

• neglect /nɪˈɡlekt/ ①VERB 忽视;忽略;疏于照看②VERB 不予重视;忽视

report reveal … 报道披露了…

accompany their families 陪伴家人

This trend could exert positive and adverse impacts on individuals and families. Those who study or live far away from families would dedicate more time to improving academic and working performance. For example, people who start their own business would not worry about balancing work and family commitments, making every effort in operation and innovation. On the other hand, the lengthy separation among family members usually weakens the family bond. It is a commonplace that people who go back home once or twice a year have less communication with their parents. They gradually become indifferent to the feelings of their family members, which may lead to misunderstanding and depression in some cases. A vicious circle is therefore created that the dysfunctional family adversely affects the sense of family for future generations.

exert positive and adverse impacts on individuals and families 对个人和家庭产生积极和不利影响

• adverse /ˈædvɜːs/ adj.不利的;有害的;反面的
• exert /ɪɡˈzɜːt/
  • VERB 施加（影响、压力等）;行使，运用（权威等） If someone or something exerts influence, authority, or pressure, they use it in a strong or determined way, especially in order to produce a particular effect
  • VERB 尽力;努力 If you exert yourself, you make a great physical or mental effort, or work hard to do something

dedicate more time to improving academic and working performance. 花更多的时间来提高学习和工作成绩。

• dedicate /ˈded.ɪ.keɪt/
  • dedicate (yourself/sth) to (sth/doing sth) 把…奉献给
• academic performance 学业成绩
• working performance 工作绩效;作业效率

start their own business 自己创业

commitment /kəˈmɪt.mənt/ [ C ] something that you must do or deal with that takes your time 必须做（或处理）的事情

• family/work commitments 家庭义务／工作任务

balance work and family commitments 平衡工作任务和家庭义务

make every effort in operation and innovation 全力经营创新

• make every effort 尽一切努力;尽力

weaken the family bond 削弱家庭纽带

among family members 家庭成员之间

the lengthy separation 长期的分离

• lengthy /ˈleŋθi/ 漫长的；冗长的；长期的
• separation /ˌsepəˈreɪʃn/ N-VAR 分离;分开;分散;隔离

commonplace /ˈkɒmənpleɪs/ ① adj.平凡的；普通的；普遍的 ②N-COUNT 常见的事；平常的事

become/be indifferent to the feelings of their family members 对家人的感受漠不关心

• be indifferent to /bi ɪnˈdɪfrənt tu/ 对…漠不关心/不以为意

lead to misunderstanding and depression in some cases 在某些情况下会导致误解和抑郁

• depression /dɪˈpreʃn/① [U, C] 抑郁；沮丧；消沉 ②[C, U] 萧条期；经济衰退；不景气③[U] 抑郁症；精神忧郁

a vicious circle 恶性循环

• vicious /ˈvɪʃ.əs/ ①凶残的 ②恶毒的

dysfunctional family 不正常的家庭：指家庭成员之间存在着不健康、不和谐、不稳定的关系，可能会导致家庭成员的心理和行为问题。

• dysfunctional /dɪsˈfʌŋkʃənl/ ADJ-GRADED (关系、行为等)出现障碍的,不正常的

adversely affects the sense of family for future generations 对后代的家庭观念产生不利影响

• future generations 子孙后代

• adversely adv.不利地

最后一个that引导定语从句，反正是修饰 a vicious circle

In conclusion, the most important reason for a significant reduction in family time nowadays is the general need to earn a better livelihood and the advent of new entertainment. This reality could be beneficial to individuals’ prospects but detrimental to family connections at the same time.

a significant reduction in family time 家庭时间显著减少

the general need to earn a better livelihood 获得更好的生计的普遍需求

the advent of new entertainment 新娱乐的出现

• advent N-UNCOUNT（重要事件、人物、发明等的）出现，到来

be beneficial to individuals’ prospects 有利于个人的前景

be detrimental to family connections 不利于家庭关系

• be detrimental to 有害于;对…不利
• detrimental /ˌdetrɪˈmentl/ 有害的;不利的

4.4 Competitiveness

Competitiveness is considered to be an important quality for people in many societies.

How do you think it affects individuals?

Is it a positive or negative trend?

范文

There is a general public perception that being competitive is essential for people in contemporary society. In this essay, I will initially outline the ways in which being competitive impacts upon people positively and then explain why I strongly believe that the wider community will suffer as a whole if competitiveness prevails.

On the one hand, competitiveness exerts beneficial influences on individuals in the following two ways. For one thing, competitiveness drives people to become all-round. In order to excel over other people, competitive ones will attempt to perfect themselves, and learning diverse skills, such as presentation skills is what they will do. For another, this quality allows people to be successful in their studies and work. Concerning students, they are very likely to endeavour to understand what their teachers teach in class, attaining top grades in examinations eventually. Regarding the working population, they will work industriously to stand out among their colleagues. For example, a sales representative who maintains a prominent performance may well be promoted to a higher position.

On the other hand, society, in my opinion, can be adversely influenced with the public being highly competition-oriented. What I mean is that the entire community may become indifferent, in which people tend to be selfish and unaffectionate. With a sense of competitiveness, people are more willing to be concerned about their own benefits, sparing no effort to achieve their own goals. In other words, they may not give a helping hand to either their classmates or workmates in trouble, especially when it comes to study or work-related issues as they are afraid of being left behind by others. In the long-run, this may hinder the development of society.

In conclusion, I strongly claim that with a competitive spirit, individuals can become well-rounded and obtain excellent academic performance and career success. Nevertheless, society, in general, may be threatened because people may become insensitive, which contributes to creating a world lacking human compassion.

习作

Just with growing fierce competition in society, competitiveness is becoming a necessary ability for people in many societies. This trend puts huge impact on individuals and shows a negative influence.

This trend affects individuals in the following aspects. Most importantly, overly fierce competition would increase pressure from life and work, leading to the lack of a sense of happiness.In other words, people need to spend more time on work and less time on family, which causes the imbalance between life and work.Apart from that, fierce competition could be harmful for people’s health as people have to work overtime for a better performance than others.When one person overworks, a large number of health problems such as obesity and heart disease would appear, after which the efficiency of work must decrease and form a vicious cycle.

Therefore, it must be a negative trend.Some people may hold the view that if every citizen has increasing competitiveness, the country would be better and better. It is a unwise idea, because the national competitiveness depends on creativity and innovation.This trend exactly only gives people meaningless competition and simple and repetitive work rather than make people do more meaningful and creative things. So the real positive trend is to give people more leisure time to accompany family and friends and provide better environment to study, which is more helpful for them to come up with innovation.

In conclusion, the growing competition is not a good trend for individuals or countries and even harmful for the overall development of individuals and countries.Hence, we need to take actions to change this trend straight away.

综合评价：

1. 结构基本完整，脉络比较清晰，但语言还需多多努力才行，像这个two-question题型的题目不需要给出一个总的观点，只要在主体段里好好回答给出的两个问题即可。第一段引出话题：Competitiveness is considered to be an important quality for people in many societies，进而给出文章的主题：There are many effects …and I believe it is a … trend；这个“文章的主题”还可以更完美一点。第二段讲了How do you think it affects individuals的细节，把自己对这个问题的回答当成本段的主题句，段首主题句还不错。第三段给出对于Is it a positive or negative trend这个问题的回答，把自己的回答当成本段的主题句，段首主题句，原文用了反驳的方式来写，不过下次最好尝试从主题句出发来正面地阐述。最后一段总结全文，这段只需要总结中间两段的主旨即可，不需要给出自己的观点，这段总结得不够符合题意，需要学会这个写法。文章字数很合适。

2. 衔接词的使用意识尚可，第二、三段在演绎其影响和进行好坏判断时使用了若干衔接词，结构上最后一段的写法还需调整，字句上的小失误不少，各段语义表达的连贯性受到了冲击。

3. 词汇量尚可，但使用时的准确度需进一步提高。需尽量避免冠词使用、单复数、拼写、选词、搭配等方面的小错。具体的例子请看修改之处，就不在此一一重复了。选词用词的细节上还需多下功夫才行。

4. 语法需进一步提高，对句子细节的把控力需进一步提升。行文时需尽量避免主谓一致、动词选词、时态、搭配、语序等方面的小错。具体的例子请看修改之处，在此就不啰嗦了。另外，每个标点后面需加一个空格。
   凡是过往，皆为序章，望君不负时光，再接再厉，考试取得好成绩!

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